Why Being Intimidating Can Be A Good Thing

Why Being Intimidating Can Be A Good Thing ©iStock/svetikd

Anyone who’s ever met me can tell you that I tend to have a pretty intimidating aura about me. I’ve even had dates tell me flat-out that I’m an intimidating lady. When I hear this, I don’t really take it as a bad thing — probably because it really isn’t. In fact, I’d so far as to say that I am happy to be intimidating. Here’s why it’s pretty great to be seen as such a badass, speaking as someone who hears it every day:

  1. It can prevent problems from happening. If you’re intimidating in the right way, you can quash people’s desire to mess with you. When you’re walking alone in night in a strange city, this can be your saving grace.
  2. Men who are threatened by you automatically remove themselves from your dating pool. Guys who are intimidated by girls will either not act on their desire, or will end up saying/doing something that makes them unattractive to you. That’s fine, because the guys who could be intimidated by you are usually not even dating material in the first place.
  3. People who disrespect you often make asses out of themselves in the process. From personal experience, those who go out of their way to attack someone they find threatening usually will end up being publicly outed for their crappy behavior. While it may take a while for karma to act out, the fact is that it will happen eventually. By trying to curb your naturally intimidating nature, you’re kowtowing to a bunch of losers who deserve to be outed as jerks.
  4. A lot of people seek approval from those they find intimidating. Ever since I stopped trying to look friendly and harmless, I couldn’t help but notice that there were a lot more people who wanted my approval. It’s kinda cool being the Queen Bee these days.
  5. Being intimidating can help you get into exclusive circles. Here’s the sad truth: doormats and teddy bears don’t always get too far in certain circles. Being intimidating, whether it’s because of your career or your attitude, can actually be the fastest way to gain approval. Simply put, you have to be able to be just as hard-assed as the people in those groups to get in.
  6. Seeing how people react to a person they find intimidating is really telling. If someone finds you intimidating, you’ll learn a lot about their personality pretty quickly. Insecure people will do what they can to tear you down, while those who are confident but worried about rejection will likely just not make a move or outright avoid you. Either way, you’ll be able to tell who you should avoid and who deserves to be part of your life.
  7. You’re more likely to be taken seriously. I stopped being “cuddly” when I realized that most people didn’t take me seriously when I was in fluffball mode. Being intimidating often means that people who would normally discredit you will hear you out instead, and that’s a great thing in many situations.
  8. Like attracts like. Whatever intimidates people about you will likely be present in a good number of people who are close to you. This is a great thing. After all, nothing is cooler than being badass with your squad.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.