Why Being Single Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Desirable

Why Being Single Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Desirable

Basing our self-worth on the attention we get from guys is something we’ve all done at one point or another. Hopefully, you left that line of thinking back in high school along with your low self-esteem, but there are some moments (like when you realize you’re the only single girl left in your group of friends) that have a way of bringing those feelings back. But everyone is single at some point, and there’s usually a lot more to it than “guys aren’t interested in me”. Who’s saying you aren’t happily single and fighting guys off left and right, anyway? Here’s why being single doesn’t actually mean you’re not desirable, because you totally are.

  1. You’re working on you. You’re single because you want to focus on yourself right now, not because you have no prospects. Being desirable to men isn’t always a priority, and that’s perfectly fine.
  2. You aren’t interested in settling. Most single women could probably be in a relationship tomorrow if they wanted to be, but that would mean settling for a guy who isn’t exactly what they’re looking for right now. You have standards for a reason— you deserve the best.
  3. Guys can be intimidated by hot women. He thinks you could have anyone you want and there’s no way you’d pick him. Guys can be just as insecure and afraid of rejection, and sometimes the women with the most going for them end up alone for longer because they haven’t met a guy who has the confidence to pursue them.
  4. Spending some time single is necessary. If you’re in between relationships, the thought of getting serious might not be that appealing. We all need some time to regroup after a break up, and there’s no reason to rush into anything just to prove to people you can.
  5. It’s more about timing. People love to give unsolicited advice about how you’ll find the one as soon as you stop looking. But that’s not always the case either. As much as you put yourself out there, sometimes timing just doesn’t work out and that’s no one’s fault.
  6. It’s not you, it’s them. Ever stop to think that maybe it’s not you that’s undesirable, but all the men that are available to you at the moment? Your friends will jump at the chance to set you up with every single guy they come across, but if they aren’t what you’re looking for, it’s not going to work out.
  7. Single doesn’t mean guys aren’t interested. You may not be in a serious relationship, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t going out on dates. Maybe casual dating is all you have time for right now, but you’re definitely not sitting home alone every weekend crying over your single status.
  8. Relationships aren’t for everyone. People in relationships think everyone else wants their life. They are so blissfully happy that they can’t imagine anyone choosing to stay single. But we’re all different, and if you don’t want to commit and actually enjoy being single, that’s your choice.
  9. Desirability is in the eye of the beholder. Not every guy you ever meet is going to want you – that’s just life. That being said, I guarantee there are guys out there that will think you’re amazing – you just have to find the right one.
  10. You don’t do things just to attract a guy. Even if trying to be someone you aren’t was guaranteed to attract men, would you do it? There’s no point because there’s someone out there that will love you for you anyway, and they are worth waiting for.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, Complex.ca and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo