Why Can’t I Get Over My Ex When I Know He Was Wrong For Me?

Look, your relationship with that ding dong ended months ago and you know he’s already moved on to somebody else (thanks a lot, Instagram) but you can’t say the same. In fact, if you’re being totally honest, you just can’t get over your ex no matter how hard you claim you’re trying. You’re still pining over him and feel like you’ll never find love again. If you don’t change your attitude and get a grip, you might be right. Here’s why you can’t leave him in the past and move on.

You’re lonely and he’s familiar.

It makes sense to want your ex back when you’re single and there are no good romantic prospects out there. After all, you invested a lot of time and energy into him and you know one another inside and out. When you’re lonely and in need of comfort, you don’t crave a stranger – you crave someone who knows you and who comforted and cared for you once upon a time. That being said, while it’s understandable, that doesn’t mean it’s acceptable. Go splash some cold water on your face, take a long hard look in the mirror, and get a grip.

You didn’t get closure.

You can’t really get over your ex if you didn’t get the closure you wanted/thought you deserved. Maybe he cheated on you and you want to know with who. Maybe he fell out of love with you but never told you why and you’re driving yourself crazy trying to figure out why. Whatever the unfinished business between you, you feel like you can’t move on until you have answers. Hate to break it to you but that’s not likely to happen, so you can choose to work on getting over it now or waste your entire life waiting around for something that will never come. Your choice.

You’re wearing rose-colored glasses.

This is the perfect example of the expression “distance makes the heart grow fonder.” Now that he’s no longer in your life, you can only seem to remember all the great things about your ex and all the BS he put you through might as well not exist – it certainly doesn’t in your mind at the moment. You fixate on the great sex you had, that fun vacation you took to Italy, that Christmas gift he gave you last year… everything but the cold, hard truth that he was a POS that wasn’t worth your time. Yikes.

Your self-esteem has plummeted.

It’s not going to be easy to get over your ex if your self-esteem is in the gutter. No confidence means no belief that there’s love still out there and that you deserve to find it. That’s just going to keep you stuck in the same old rut, never recovering or getting back on your feet. Why are you allowing your ex/your breakup/what happened in that relationship control you like that?

You’re scared of being alone.

Ah, the truth of the matter. If you get over your ex and you’re not dating anyone new, there’s this terrible idea that starts to creep into your mind that you just might be alone forever. Is it true? Not likely. But it’s an ugly trick your mind plays on you that if you just hang onto your ex, you’ll never truly be on your own. That’s crap, but

You’re stalking them on social media.

Don’t even lie – you know you’re guilty of this (we’ve all been there). If you’re spending significant portions of your day scrolling through his Insta feed, stalking him on Facebook, and reading his tweets, how in the hell are you ever going to get over him? Block and delete is your only option here. Go on, you know I’m right.

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