Why Does Dating Get Harder The Longer You Do It?

Dating can be exhilarating and fun, but it can also be a series of disappointments, one after the other. You’d think that the more you date, the easier it will get, but the truth is that the longer you’ve been on the dating scene, it’ll get even harder. Here’s why:

  1. There are fewer options. The dating pool begins to get more and more shallow when people start pairing off and getting married and you’re still out there being your fabulous single self. The options of good, decent men are few and far between, and it’s a lot harder to weed out the players from the non-settlers.
  2. It’s harder to meet people you click with. When you’re younger and semi-new to the dating scene, you can stroll to your nearest club and there’s a ton of possibly eligible bachelors just waiting to buy you a drink — and the good news is since you’re both at the club, you already know you mutually enjoy at least one activity. However, the more you date, the less likely you are to be found in one of those barely-adult establishments and meeting like-minded people gets harder and harder.
  3. You’re more of a cynic. After dating for a while, you’ll have a few horror stories of your own, which can lower your expectations when it comes to dating. You’re less likely to feel as hopeful as you once did and this can lead to some very cynical thoughts on dating and relationships.
  4. You’re less inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt. If a guy doesn’t call you back after a lovely date, you’re no longer making excuses for him. You don’t have time to wait around for that guy because you’ve been dating a long ass time and know exactly what’s going on. Even if he does end up getting back with a good excuse, you may have already moved on to the next available option.
  5. There’s more pressure as you get older. A first date holds so much more pressure the more you do it because you want it to work out that much more — not to mention that most of your friends are settled down and you’re starting to wonder whether or not you’re going to ever get that chance.
  6. Time goes faster. When you’re stuck in the drudgery of everyday life, time often becomes a blur. You blink your eyes and your 20s are gone. What this means for dating is that you feel as though you have less time to find “The One” and it really makes dating that much harder to navigate because every guy you eat dinner with could very well be the guy you end up with.
  7. The stakes have changed. When you first enter the dating scene, it’s easy breezy and you’re not too worried about where things end up. Your ability to go with the flow is much more prevalent. The longer you’re dating, though, the harder it is to avoid the pressure that often comes with it.
  8. The dates stay the same. You get older, the dating scene stays the same. Dinner and a movie or a walk and a coffee seem to be the norm and you’re not quite sure how many potential partner interviews you have left before you meet someone worthwhile. It’s not easy doing the same thing over and over again but with a different face across the table.
  9. The longer you’ve dated, the more baggage potential partners have. Whether it be trust issues from their last disaster of a relationship or a baby mama who still loves him, the longer you’re on the dating scene, the more baggage your plus-one will have. But you have your own carry-on full of issues, making it even harder to match with someone.
  10. There are so many different ways to date. Between meeting people in person, clicking with an old friend, or online dating the way people date nowadays is spread over so many different mediums, it can be hard to keep up. Sure, it provides a lot of different avenues to meet different types of guys, but it can be exhausting all at the same time.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at AngelicaBottaro.ca. She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.