Why Do Guys Cheat?

There are very few things that can hurt a girl more than finding out that her partner is being unfaithful. If you’ve had the unfortunate pain of catching a cheater in the act, one major question always comes to mind: “Why?” While every situation is different, there are several reasons men tend to look elsewhere. Here are a few of them:

  1. Affairs offer some sort of validation. Remember when I said that there are many women who cheat because they want to know that they still got it goin’ on? Guys often get the same urges when they have been with a girl. They want to know that other girls are attracted to them. That might be why only 12% of guys say that the girl they had an affair with was more attractive than their main squeeze.
  2. Guys may feel peer pressure to have a side chick. Guys who have friends that cheated will be more likely to cheat. Peer pressure is real, but real men will resist it.
  3. Some guys really don’t intend to ever commit. According to Psychology Today, there’s a pretty sizable group of guys who never really intend on being monogamous. As selfish as it may sound, and shocking as it may be, some guys will never be loyal, but will be fine with fooling girls into thinking otherwise.
  4. Many guys are just plain messed up. I personally have known of cases when a guy cheated on his girlfriend with the actual intention of hurting her. I’ve also known guys who cheated as a way of exacting revenge on a girl that they were no longer dating. Luckily, guys who cheat in order to hurt others while making themselves feel better are a very rare minority.
  5. It’s often about the thrill, and the need for something different. This is one of the downsides to being in a long-term relationship. When you’re with the same person for years, it’s hard to keep things fresh. It takes effort. Sometimes, guys end up getting bored when they’re bedding the same girl. Despite being relatively happy, they end up straying to get a taste of something new.
  6. In men, cheating is often a sign of insecurity. For some men, it’s not only the aspect of validation that makes infidelity appealing. It’s the fact that the other woman offers him praise, attention, and also shows that she’s willing to risk being caught just to be with him.  For men who are insecure, adultery is about showing off their own power over women, and in some cases, it’s an escape from how awful he feels about his own self-worth.
  7. Many men think they can get away with it. Don’t guys know that us girls are wise to their ways? Regardless of how many times you hear about girls catching guys in the act, guys will somehow delude themselves into thinking that they’re slick and will never be found out.
  8. Lastly, guys sometimes just do it for the sex. If you haven’t been satisfying a guy’s needs, or if you ended up turning your guy down, there’s a chance that he wandered as a way to have his sexual needs met. Only around 7% of guys actually say that their cheating was caused due to sex, but no one can deny that it’s still a potential reason in many relationships.

Truth be told, the “why” of an affair very rarely actually matters. The fact that he did it says volumes about his character and his faults. No matter what explanation or excuse he gives you, it’s important to remember that it’s inexcusable. You deserve better.

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.