The general belief is that women are the emotional ones and men are slightly more stunted in this department. It’s not that they don’t feel things, they’re just not very good at vocalizing or expressing their emotions sometimes. Most women understand that implicitly by the time we’ve been in the dating scene for a few years, but there is one thing they do in aid of hiding what’s happening in their hearts that drives us absolutely insane. So, why do men pull away when they’re falling in love?
- They’re afraid of commitment. This is one of the most obvious reasons this happens. Falling in love is one of the most vulnerable feelings you can have, especially since there’s nothing casual about it. Once you’re head over heels for someone, you can’t really play it cool anymore — you have to make a move on it. This freaks a lot of guys out because they know commitment is on the way and that terrifies the hell out of them. They often try (and fail) to turn off their feelings by putting some space between themselves and their partner before eventually coming to their senses.
- They don’t want to stop playing the field. Casual dating works for so many people because it requires the bare minimum of effort. When you’re not properly with someone, you don’t owe them anything, right? When men are falling in love, they recognize that their days of being able to be laissez-faire about relationships are numbered so they pull away in rebellion. They’re convinced that “settling down” isn’t for them and FOMO kicks in hard.
- They’ve been hurt before and don’t want it to happen again. Women aren’t the only ones with fragile hearts — men are capable of having their hearts broken too. Maybe they’ve been devastated by a previous breakup and it took them a long time to recover. If that’s the case, they’re not exactly going to be keen to repeat the experience. If they catch themselves falling in love with someone new, men will often pull away in an attempt to protect themselves from the heartache they experienced in that past relationship.
- They’re not sure if their feelings for you are real. It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of a new romantic connection, and this is especially true if you’re sleeping together. You start to think you’re in deep with someone when really you’re clouded by novelty, excitement, good sex, etc. That’s why, if some guys feel themselves falling for you, they’ll pull back a bit to try and assess if their feelings are actually real. This can be a good thing, especially if they get the sense that the other person’s feelings are very strong and they stand to get hurt.
- They don’t want their lives to change. There’s no getting around the fact that being in love with someone and being in a relationship with that person changes things. When you’re part of a couple, you have to consider the other person in many of your day-to-day decisions because it’s not all about you anymore. There’s no more flirting with random women, no more living like eternal bachelors, and no more doing whatever they want regardless of how it affects everyone else. That’s an intense prospect, so it’s no wonder some guys can’t handle it. Hopefully, they’ll come to their senses quickly enough so they don’t lose what may be one of the best things to happen to them in a long time.