Why Do Some Guys Get Jealous So Easily?

While you might feel flattered when the guy you’re dating gets jealous, it probably shouldn’t. In fact, it could be a red flag you’re dealing with a toxic guy. The question is, why do some guys get possessed by the green-eyed monster so quickly? Here’s what could be going on.

  1. He doesn’t feel worthy. You mention that you’re hanging out with your girlfriends or best friend who happens to be a guy and your boyfriend becomes aloof or moody. He could be feeling like he’s not worthy enough to be included, which is making him feel completely left out. Awww. Drop him an invite and see what happens!
  2. He’s got a string of toxic relationships. He gets jealous really easily, to the point where it feels like he’s always expecting you to trip up and cheat on him? He could have trust issues from all those toxic relationships he’s gone through. But it’s not something you need to work on –  he’s the one who’s got to unpack those issues.
  3. He’s scared of being neglected. Maybe he doesn’t have commitment issues but instead has major fear of being abandoned. Yikes. This could go back to his childhood or even be something more recent, but it causes him to want to hold onto love with all his might. He doesn’t realize the more he gets jealous and anxious, the more you’re going to be eyeing out the exit.
  4. He’s actually projecting. Ah, now there’s the guy who acts all jealous as though you’re about to screw the first guy you see when you leave his apartment but not because he’s afraid of losing you. He’s actually projecting his own dark fantasies onto you. He’s blaming you for something you haven’t even done because he’s thinking of doing it. Take his jealousy with a huge pinch of salt.
  5. He saw you as his backup option. Okay, so maybe you guys aren’t serious or official, but he acts really jealous whenever he thinks you’re seeing someone else. What’s up with that? If he liked it, he should’ve put a relationship label on it! Clearly, he had you pegged as a backup dating option and he doesn’t want to lose that. Too bad, so sad. He’s got to go.
  6. He doesn’t trust you. Maybe you betrayed him in the past and now every time you even mention a man’s name he flies off the handle and becomes jealous. Or maybe he just doesn’t trust you because of his own issues. Whatever the case, a lack of trust is what’s really going on. The jealousy is just a symptom of that.
  7. He fears being replaced. This one is quite a common fear when you start to bond with someone. Your guy might experience jealousy because he’s so afraid of being replaced by your hot co-worker who’s buff, tall, and has all the qualities your guy feels he doesn’t. This is normal to a point. It shouldn’t be something that gets in the way of your relationship or causes drama.
  8. He’s insecure. Maybe he’s really insecure, not just about your relationship but everything. He’s taken such a knock to his confidence that he’s jealous all the time about everything. What are you supposed to do? If even reassuring him that you love him and want to be with him doesn’t make him feel more secure in the relationship, there could be something else going on.
  9. He’s possessive. If it feels like this guy wants to keep you in his apartment all the time and never have contact with the outside world because he “loves you so much” or you’re the “center of his world,” run don’t walk to the nearest exit because this guy is trying to control you. As crazily as he supposedly loves you, multiply that by 100 and you’ll get the intensity of his jealousy. Yup, you probably don’t want to be around for that.
  10. He’s jealous of you. Now, you might think he’s jealous because he’s afraid of losing you, but he might actually be jealous of you. So, when he sees that you have a vibrant social life with your mates, maybe he gets jealous because he wishes that he had that. Or, when you have to work late and he acts up, maybe he’s jealous of the career you’ve built for yourself. Ugh. You really don’t need him to be your competitor. He’s supposed to support you!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.