Dating just isn’t what it used to be. I remember a far-off distant time in the past when it used to be fun to meet guys, hang out with them, and go on dates. Nowadays, chivalry is beyond non-existent and attempting to put yourself out there just turns into a waiting game to find out what toxic behavior waits behind door #3. Here are 7 things a lot of guys do now that didn’t use to happen so prevalently in the dating world.
- They throw baggage to the wind. A good portion of guys these days couldn’t care less about putting their best forward. Immediately upon meeting you, they just casually mention lies and vices in small talk conversation like it’s literally nothing. There’s not even any build-up to it anymore—they just put it all out there on the first date and don’t even care how you react. One minute you’re asking their favorite color, the next they’re readily admitting to doing drugs, participating in criminal activity, still being married, and who knows what else. The options for what may shock you are endless and there’s no effort to find the right time to let you know or try to get one over on you.
- They’re stingy with their dates. Most guys don’t even want to spend money anymore. They have no funds to spare to impress another person—they’re just pinching all their pennies and trying to get away with the cheapest options for your time. If they could just come over on day one and begin the Netflix and chill process right off the bat, they would. I am by no means a gold digger, but it just shows a level of investment in someone else and wanting to get to know them if you’re willing to spend a little money to have a nice time. If you can’t afford a basic dinner with another person, how do you expect to even think about a long-term commitment that could entail a wedding, mortgage, babies, etc.? If balling solo is a bigger priority to them than a relationship, then let them keep their coins in their own pocket while you keep your dignity in yours.
- They come dressed to unimpress. I can’t believe how many guys I’ve gone out with in the past year or so who’ve shown up in sweatpants. And please for the love of everything tell me what happened to cologne?! Do guys even buy it anymore, and if not, why? I miss when guys used to smell like men instead of disappointment and lies. A whiff of testosterone used to be such a turn-on and it’s completely lost in 2020. They just come through the door now with laziness and pheromones alone and hope that can push them through. Give us a little something extra please and learn how to use an iron.
- They sell dreams with no follow-through. Way too many dudes these days will tell you how great you are and how much they like you then never call you back again. What is up with professing affections and then pulling away—did you want it or not? This game is so rampant out here now I’m about ready to call the Ghostbusters. There’s no sense of commitment anymore and you never really know where you stand with someone, even if you do get “lucky” and make it out of the situationship zone into a title. It’s hard to keep morale alive when you never really know where your relationship stands.
- They get comfortable too fast. It’s fine if you’ve been together for years or even months and somebody has a bad day. We’re all human. But if we’re just starting to date, you should at least be a little bit happy and try to hold back on some of your true character if you’re a moody grump. I went on two whole dates with this one guy before he started getting all silent and mopey and said he was having bad days. Hello, this is supposed to be our honeymoon period. Where is the sheer joy in meeting someone new and exciting before all the real b/s enters the stage? It’s supposed to be mostly all fun and games in the beginning, not feel like you’re already an old married couple who can’t even enjoy one another in the first month.
- They have an utter lack of initiation. Why do so many men nowadays refuse to take the lead at all costs? They could basically know they want to marry you and still won’t even have the guts to ask you on a date. The initial innocence can be a little endearing, but at some point, it’s not cute anymore. Learn to communicate, speak up, and take a risk. Guys want you to let them know you like them, ask them out on a date, and pay for at least half the date now. If I wanted to do all that I may as well just be my own boyfriend and love myself then.
- They are unrealistic about life. A lot of guys these days just ignore major events. They don’t care about your birthday, Valentine’s Day, or if you’re in the hospital. They act like real life is a turn-off. You’re not cool or fun to be around if you have feelings, health issues, and crises. All of a sudden you’re “drama” if you go through anything real. What do they think is going to happen if you actually hit it off and get into a serious relationship and do life together? So you’re supposed to be married and not go through any traumatic events or issues? I’m not saying it’s supposed to be never-ending chaos, but if something does happen, they should be mature and understanding, especially if they’re sincere about building a partnership with you.
