Why Doesn’t He Want Me? 10 Reasons He’s Not Feeling You Even Though You’re Amazing

You’re smart, funny, and have an overall great personality. You’re bossing your career, have a wonderful social circle, and are completely sufficient. In other words, you know you’re a catch — so why doesn’t your crush want you? For starters, it’s nothing personal (well, maybe not). Here are some reasons why he’s letting you go instead of snapping you up.

  1. He can’t commit fully. Now, maybe he’s got commitment issues that prevent him from becoming serious with you – or anyone at all for that matter. He’s actually doing you a favor because you don’t want a guy who’s only 50% in a relationship instead of giving you his whole heart.
  2. He’s just not sure. He might like you and perhaps has even told you he likes you but he’s just not sure. Is the guy confused? Is he using that as an excuse for why he’s not asking you out or what? He might be confused about you specifically. Maybe he’s just not sure if you guys would be a good match.
  3. He’s loyal to someone else. He might already have a girlfriend or someone he’s been dating quite a bit, and so he doesn’t want to take things further with anyone else. He just might not tell you that he’s already got someone at home, which is a bit dodgy because then it’s like he’s trying to keep his options open if things don’t work out with her.
  4. He doesn’t like certain things. Maybe you did something that put him off. Maybe he sees you as too forward or too clingy or he doesn’t like that you don’t enjoy the same hobbies that he does. Whatever. While this might feel like a more personal rejection, it’s still nothing you did. You guys just aren’t in sync. It happens.
  5. He just doesn’t like you. Okay, look. While you might be the most amazing GF in the world, not everyone is going to like you. Just like it’s mind-boggling to you when people don’t like pizza or chocolate, it might make you shake your head when someone just doesn’t like you. But hey, everyone has a type. You might not be his. It’s that simple.
  6. He’s not over his ex. He might show you that he’s interested in you but then back away or keep his emotions at a distance. What’s up with that? He might not be over his ex or recent breakup, which is why he’s unsure of taking a step forward in his dating life. Let’s hope he doesn’t string you along or waste your precious time.
  7. He can’t give you what you want. Here he is, doing you yet another favor by getting out of your life before you fall for him hard. If he knows in his heart he can’t give you what you want and deserve from a boyfriend, then it’s best he backs away. For example, maybe he wants a fling but you’re relationship-minded, or maybe he wants to have a long-distance relationship but that’s just heartache for you. The crappy thing about this is that it shows you what a nice guy he is to be open about what he can’t give you, which makes you want him even more. Argh.
  8. He doesn’t want to step on anyone’s toes. Another reason why he might show signs of being into you but not make a move is if he knows his buddy is into you and he doesn’t want to get in the way because it’s just not cool to do that. If this is the case, then you guys find yourselves in a really crappy situation.
  9. He figures it’s bad timing. Linked to the above, there could be external issues that are getting in the way of you guys being together. Sometimes, sadly, these things happen. He might be leaving for good overseas because of a new career milestone, or maybe he’s getting engaged to someone else, or whatever.
  10. He sees you as a friend. This one hurts. Again, it happens. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, there’s just no chemistry with someone… well, there might be from your side but not from his. This has made him decide to be your friend instead of your lover. Ugh. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but sometimes it happens for the best. You might just have an amazing bestie in waiting.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.