You’ve been single for what seems like forever and generally speaking, you’re cool with it. You’ve had plenty of time to work on becoming the best version of yourself and cultivating an amazing life you’re proud and content to lead on a daily basis. However, you can’t lie and say you wouldn’t like a boyfriend to go along with it. Why don’t guys ask me out? you might be wondering. Here are some possibilities – and don’t worry, these things are easy enough to correct!
- You’re still hung up on the past. You say you’ve closed the book on your past relationships, but is that actually the case? If you’re still trying to remain BFF with your ex or constantly reminiscing about your last relationship, single guys are going to get the message that you’re not interested because you’d rather be with the dude who just broke up with you/you just dumped. Make sure you’ve fully processed your feelings for your ex if you ever want to develop healthy ones for someone new.
- You’re giving off desperate vibes. If your approach to dating has changed from “it’ll happen when it happens” to “any guy will do,” then men will notice this and likely steer clear. They’re way less likely to ask you out if they think you’d only be interested in them because they’re better than nothing or because you’re just desperate to be in a relationship. This is the complete opposite of sexy.
- You don’t seem interested in what they have to say. In order for a guy to want to go on a date with you, there has to be some kind of spark or connection there. One way to establish this is via conversation. Maybe you went to the same college or you both really love Radiohead – whatever the point(s) is that binds you, that’s a good place to start. However, if guys get the vibe that you don’t really care about what they’re saying, they’re not going to think it’s very worthwhile to ask you out.
- You have no idea what you want. One day you’re totally swearing off men and proclaiming how you can’t wait to be single for the rest of your life and the next you’re crying because you’re lonely and just want someone to cuddle with in the cold weather. In other words, you’re a mess. Guys can be pretty perceptive when it comes to your true feelings on relationships. If you don’t know what those feelings are, how can they feel confident enough to ask you out?
- Your body language sucks. Sitting at the bar crossing your arms, turning your body away from the room and instead leaning inwards towards your friends, scowling or even simply refusing to smile — these are all bits of body language that will keep you single for a long time to come. Guys want to date women who are open and warm. If you’re not, can you blame them for steering clear?
- You go after the wrong types of guys. If you’re only open to going on dates with guys that fit a very narrow set of guidelines you’ve concocted, maybe it’s not that guys don’t want to ask you out, it’s that you’re blocking out a good portion of potentially great single men. Think about that and maybe change your approach.
