Why Finding Love Is So Hard For Strong Women

Strong women are typically independent, confident, and not afraid to speak their minds. While these qualities have benefits, they also come with their own obstacles. For instance, strong women aren’t always successful in love. It can be difficult for them to share control and show affection. Sound familiar? If you’re a strong woman, you can probably relate. Here are 10 reasons why finding love is such a challenge, and how you can make it easier on yourself.

  1. Your Standards Are Too High. As a strong woman, you have high expectations for yourself. Chances are, you have a five-year plan for your professional (and maybe even your financial) growth. And while there’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want, it might be the reason finding love is such a challenge — you want a partner with the same expectations for themself. You’re not wrong for having standards, but having too high of standards could keep you from finding “the one.”
  2. You’re Not Dating The Right People. A strong woman needs a partner that’s just as strong as they are. You need someone who can hold their own and isn’t afraid to be called out on occasion. This might sound harsh, but if you consistently date people who are insecure, it’s no wonder it hasn’t worked out for you. Make sure your standards are more than just whether someone has goals, focus on their personality as well when you’re finding love (or hoping to).
  3. Finding The One Isn’t A Priority. While you enjoy dating, you don’t need another person to complete you. You’re a strong woman and able to take care of yourself, financially and emotionally. And while that’s amazing, it makes you less likely to seek out another person. But the truth is, we all need someone in our lives. Human beings aren’t designed to be alone, we’re meant to love and be loved. But you know that, don’t you? So, start making time for love. We’re not saying you should make it your whole life, but go ahead and download a dating app and ask out that cute barista.
  4. Feelings Aren’t Easy To Express. Chances are, you have no problem talking to a room full of executives about a new project you’re working on. But when it comes to telling someone you like them… hard pass. The funny thing about strong women is they like to be in control. Being vulnerable isn’t really their style, so it can be difficult for them to open up. That’s why you struggle to find love. People can’t tell whether you’re interested, so they assume you’re not and move on. It’s important that you learn how to express yourself, so the right people don’t walk out of your life.
  5. You’re Intimidating. Chances are, you’ve been told more than once that people find you intimidating. That’s because you are — even though it’s not your intention. To the outside world, you look like someone who has everything figured out. You’re confident, strong-willed, and not afraid to speak your mind. While that’s all true, you have insecurities just like everyone else, they’re just not as clearly visible. Because of that, people assume you’re perfect and that intimidates them.

More reasons finding love is harder for strong, confident women

  1. You’ve Been Hurt Before. Strong women struggle to forgive. If you’ve been hurt in the past, you’re probably doing everything in your power to keep that from happening again. Maybe you avoid going on dates, talking about your feelings, or you date the wrong people. Either way, you’re consciously (or subconsciously) doing your best to never get hurt again. But remember, that’s no way to live. Sure, it might keep you from experiencing heartbreak, but in turn, you’ll experience loneliness; which can be much more debilitating. Not to mention, you’ll never find your soulmate if you’re too scared to take a chance.
  2. You Move On Quickly. If someone upsets you, you drop them and move on without looking back. You might think that’s a good quality, but it can keep you from forming relationships. The truth is, that everyone makes mistakes. Friends, family, and significant others will no doubt upset you from time to time. Instead of cutting them out of your life, you need to learn how to practice forgiveness and accept people for who they are.
  3. You Have Little Patience. There’s a saying, “You have to teach people how to treat you.” Strong women probably aren’t a fan of this. They don’t want to spend time teaching someone how to date them. They want them to already know. Sorry, but people aren’t psychic. You can’t expect someone to know everything you like and dislike. That’s not realistic. Even if you find someone with all your standards, you’re still going to have to teach them a few things about yourself.
  4. You’re Not Ready. Maybe you’re struggling to find love because you’re not ready to settle down. A relationship requires time and energy, both you and the other person have to be willing to put in that effort. You can’t half-ass a relationship. If you do, there’s a good chance it won’t work. Before looking for love, ask yourself if it’s something you’re willing to work for.
  5. Some People Can’t Handle It. This might sound harsh, but there are a lot of people who are too insecure to date strong women. Whether they’re embarrassed about making less money or don’t like sharing the spotlight, it can be tricky to find someone who appreciates all your qualities. But you know what? That’s not your problem. You shouldn’t have to dull your light so someone else can shine. Remember that and keep on being the strong woman you are! Finding love will happen when it’s meant to.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.