Why Some Guys Are Into Dating Older Women, According To A Guy

While it might seem odd for a guy to be interested in a woman who’s significantly older than him — there’s only so much you can have in common with someone who’s 10-plus years older or younger than you, right? — there is definitely a rhyme and reason for this attraction. Here’s what might be going on and why ladies with some serious life experience under their belts stand out to many of us.

  1. They aren’t focused on family. Older women are usually done having kids or have chosen not to start a family. Either way, that’s not their focus when it comes to dating. At a certain point, most women tend to start looking at their dating partners as potential husbands and fathers, which is perfectly understandable. That being said, it’s a relief for some guys not to be looked at in those terms. An older woman is just looking at finding the right partner, not someone who will provide for a family or be a father. Guys who haven’t had much success dating women their own age tend to like this aspect of dating older women.
  2. They don’t play games. Younger men and women are usually guilty of playing dating games. Fortunately, we all (well, most of us) tend to grow out of that at some point. Guys who get sick of dating games will often gravitate toward older women because they don’t play them. Older women have been there and done that, which allows them to get to a place where they can be straightforward and honest. They tend to be clear about what they want, which can be a relief to a lot of guys.
  3. They’re comfortable in their own skin. I don’t see this as being about gender; it’s just a natural part of being human. When we’re young, most of us tend to be insecure about things. Unfortunately, it can be an unattractive quality. A lot of guys find that older women don’t have this problem. They’ve grown out of their insecurity and have stopped obsessing over trying to be perfect. Older women are more likely to be self-assured and comfortable with themselves. Thus, guys are more likely to find these attractive traits in older women.
  4. They’ve learned life lessons. It’s a fact of life that young people make mistakes and (hopefully) learn from them. Naturally, older women have learned more life lessons than younger ones. They understand more about life and relationships. For some guys, that knowledge can be attractive. Older women can provide a different, more mature perspective that some guys appreciate in a romantic partner.
  5. Emotional maturity is there in abundance. Eventually in life, we learn to stop letting certain things bother us. We’re able to remain in control of our emotions. This is another trait that many older women possess that guys sometimes struggle to find in women their own age. For some guys, finding an older woman who has emotional maturity can be a breath of fresh air compared to the younger women he’s used to dating.
  6. There’s plenty of good conversation. I’m not saying that younger women can’t be smart and great conversationalists, but older women can often one-up them in this category. They tend to be more educated and have more life experiences, which makes them more interesting to talk to. Older women are better at carrying a conversation and aren’t afraid to express their opinions. For guys who want to move past the superficial stuff and dig a little deeper, an older woman can be more appealing.
  7. They are more relaxed. For whatever reason, older women tend to have a more relaxed and laid-back approach to dating. This makes them perfect for younger guys who are sick of loud dance clubs and trying to buy women drinks as a form of courtship. With older ladies, dating just feels easier. It’s more about enjoying each other’s company and getting to know the other person. It’s a nice change of pace for some guys, who sometimes discover they prefer this over dating women their own age.
  8. They have financial stability. I’m not saying that guys prefer older women because we’re gold diggers. However, none of us can deny that most millennials are in debt or have some kind of financial issues. This can make dating a little more complicated. However, that’s less likely to be the case with older women. They usually have the career and financial aspects of their life figured out. Again, this is a nice change from younger women who are still trying to figure everything out. Quite frankly, it’s attractive to see a woman who has her act together and has found financial stability. Plus, it definitely makes dating a lot easier than two broke Millenials who are drowning in debt.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.
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