Hey, Guys — Stop Playing Hard To Get

Hey, Guys — Stop Playing Hard To Get ©iStock/PeopleImages

Playing hard to get isn’t going to get you anywhere. It’s an immature dating tactic that should be left in the past where it belongs. After all, if you have feelings for someone, it’s not that hard to express them. All of you men seriously need to stop playing hard to get, and here’s why:

  1. It doesn’t make you look more desirable. It only makes you look like you aren’t interested in us. And if you aren’t interested, why would we keep wasting our time with you?
  2. We want to be treated like equals. We’re not going to chase after you like you’re some sort of prize that needs to be won. We want to be with someone who’s as eager to date us as we are to date them.
  3. We don’t have time for games. We’re not children anymore. If you like us, you should tell us instead of trying to impress us with outdated flirting maneuvers that won’t actually work.
  4. We don’t want to feel ugly. Playing hard to get won’t make us want you more. It’s only going to make us feel horrible about ourselves, because we’ll assume that you don’t want anything to do with us.
  5. You’re just wasting time. Instead of wasting weeks playing with our feelings, you could’ve just told us how you felt. If you did, then you would’ve dated us sooner, kissed us sooner, and slept with us sooner. So really, it’s your loss.
  6. We want to respect your wishes. “No” should mean no and “yes” should mean yes. However, guys like you make consent confusing, because you tell us you don’t want us when you actually do.
  7. We can’t tell what you’re feeling. You might think it’s obvious you’re playing hard to get, but we have no idea what’s running through your mind. We just can’t tell if you want us or if you’re being serious when you say you don’t.
  8. We don’t actually want a challenge. It’s not that we’re lazy. We just don’t want to fight tooth and nail in order to be with someone.
  9. It’s exhausting. We don’t want to date a guy who constantly sends us mixed signals. It’s tiring to try to figure out what you mean twenty-four seven.
  10. You’re just pushing us away. If you never make time for us, and act like you have zero interest in us, then we’re going to find another man who actually wants us around.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.