Why Guys Send Mixed Signals And What To Do About It

So you’re talking to this guy and everything seems to be going smoothly at first. He calls you all the time, your texts flow easily, and he’s as flirty as a high school senior. Then, all of a sudden, it begins to feel as if something has gone wrong somewhere. Why is he cold? Why hasn’t he called in days? Did you do anything wrong? There are many reasons guys may send you mixed signals regardless of what stage of the relationship you’re in (or you’re not in). Here’s why the guy you’re seeing can’t stay consistent.

  1. He’s just not the communicative type. At the root of mixed signals lies a lack of communication, and many guys suffer from this. They find it hard to open up and discuss their feelings with other people. Most times, a guy who’s not straightforward with the vibe he gives off is probably unable to open up and let you know his true intentions for whatever reason. In this case, you can do the opening up. Go on a date over ice cream and try to pose the ‘what are we?’ question. Remember to be warm and gentle yet firm, so he’s not afraid of letting you know how he truly feels about you.
  2. He’s just not interested. One day you’re talking on the phone for hours on end, the next day he’s giving you one-word replies. You’re thrown into serious confusion because you’re wondering if you said or did anything wrong. Well, it just might mean that this guy has no real interest in you, especially if his mixed signals are consistent. What to do? Simple: talk and then walk. Once you find out a guy isn’t interested in anything real, you have no business hanging on to him. You may decide to tell him how you feel about the whole thing or you may decide to simply walk away. Either way, don’t waste your time.
  3. He’s taking his time with you. Maybe things aren’t progressing because he simply wants to take his time. Maybe he’s trying to avoid making the mistakes of a past relationship or he just wants to let things grow gradually and naturally. Whatever it is, this one is totally up to you. Maybe you simply can’t wait around for him to be ready, and that’s okay. Either way, talk it out. Communication is paramount here, and opening up will help to straighten things out and put you both on the same page.
  4. There’s someone else. If a guy is giving you hot and cold vibes, then there’s a great chance that you’re one of several other women that he’s struggling to juggle. There’s only one thing to do if you find out you’re not the only one he’s dating: walk away. The only other thing to do would be a massive compromise of love—staying and remaining a side piece. You deserve better than being someone’s backup plan.
  5. He’s scared of commitment. Again, this is true for many guys. Having to stick to one person for the long term makes a lot of guys freak out. Until he decides if he can really see himself with you into the future, it’s likely he’ll send mixed signals because he doesn’t know where he stands. In this case, it’s best to give him time to assess his feelings and decide if he genuinely wants to be with you while taking time to assess where you’re at as well. Communication as always is important here too in finding the middle ground in the relationship and deciding whether to stay or leave.
  6. He’s a serial cheater. Mixed signals are one of the top red flags of a covert serial cheater. If a guy isn’t totally honest with you about his intentions, then there’s a probability that he has a girlfriend somewhere and three baby mamas elsewhere and you’re just new to the queue! Do a background check. Make inquiries. Is there something he’s not telling you? Wasting even one second can cost you your time, and your heart.
  7. He just wants to have sex. He can be all flirty and dirty today and then after you “meet up,” he’s suddenly silent. Or, maybe he only ever texts you to hang out late at night. If a guy’s focus seems bedroom-centered, then it’s most likely that’s the only place he wants you. Unless you’re up for keeping things casual and recreational, you know just what to do. That’s why it’s important to set priorities straight in any relationship from the very beginning.
  8. He’s only using you to pass time. I’m sure you know that there’s something called a trophy partner. This means you’re only in it for the show—maybe to help boost his ego or to show off to his friends. No guy will come clean and be straightforward with you if he is using you in this way, but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep an eye out for the red flags and get out. You must never compromise your place in a relationship. If his intentions don’t match your ideals, leave.
  9. He doesn’t want to break your heart. Finally, a positive reason why your guy may be giving off mixed vibes. He may just really like you and may not want to rush into a relationship with you if he fears that he may not live up to expectations. As such, he may be present sometimes and MIA other times. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you. It may just mean that he loves you too much to want to get into a relationship that may just go sour and spoil things between you two. It’s best to just give him time. As long as you keep talking openly and honestly, you may be able to get through it.
Always give your 100%… unless you're donating blood. Then don't.