It’s not abnormal for a guy to ghost when things are a bit meh, and that’s bad enough. When he ghosts after he claims he had a fantastic time on your date and there was obvious chemistry, it’s even worse. Here’s why he did it.
He was just window shopping.
Maybe he was on Tinder to check out what women are single and ready to date, without actually thinking he’d want to commit to dating one of them. He had a great time chatting to you and meeting up in real life, but that’s the end of it. Just because he said he had an amazing time, it doesn’t mean he’s actually going to want to see you again. Still would’ve been nice if he just told you that, but anyway…
He needed an ego boost.
Maybe he just wanted to feel good about himself again. So he met up with you and thought, “Wow, what an amazing woman, she’s making me feel better about who I am.” He left the date feeling like he was flying high on the clouds, but that’s all he wanted to gain from you. He set out to make himself see if he could pull an amazing catch like you and when he saw there was a chance, he didn’t need to go further. It might sound crazy, but this is the classic example of a guy who loves the chase and doesn’t want it to lead to anything more.
He already has a girlfriend.
If you think that he’s shady, maybe your gut is onto something. A guy who dates you, compliments you, and tells you how great it was to spend time with you only to disappear is a jackass. He might be even more of a jackass if the reason why is because he’s already in a relationship with someone. He might be checking out who’s out there so he keeps his options open. He did you a favor by bouncing.
He’s not over his ex.
The guy might have some serious baggage that he hasn’t dealt with, potentially relating to his ex-girlfriend. He might’ve been pushing himself to get back out into the dating scene, but he’s just not ready to forget about what’s-her-face and start something new. Even though you’re amazing, he just isn’t there yet and his heart’s still tugging him back to the past. Instead of being man enough to tell you this, he chooses to disappear.
He changed his mind afterward.
Yeah, he had a fantastic time. Yes, he wanted to see you again. But you know what? He said all this in the heat of the moment. Once he got home and the dust settled, and he received a text message from his flirtatious co-worker he’s been crushing on, he realized that maybe he’s not actually keen to take that fantastic date into something more. Hey, it happens.
He’s dating other women.
He’s not committed to you. You guys had one date, but guess what? He’s dating lots of other women simultaneously. While that in itself isn’t a big deal because you’re still in the casual stage of things, it can be hurtful for him to go AWOL on you. It’s especially hurtful to think that he liked one of the other women he’s dating instead of you, but it’s really his loss!
While we’re on the subject of hurtful ghosting, let’s tackle this one head-on: maybe he wasn’t telling you the truth when he said he had a great time. He might’ve said that in the hopes that you’d want to go back to his place, or maybe he said it because you said it first and it felt awkward for him to say that it was just so-so. Again, his loss and nothing for you to worry about.
He discovered something later.
When you guys carried on chatting via text after the date, he started to see that you’re not as compatible as he initially thought. Maybe your values or life goals clash and he only realized that when he got to know you better.
He fell in lust and hurt himself.
Sometimes guys will say things that make you think they’re really into you when really they just want to get into your pants. They come on so strong, telling you how amazing you are and how lucky they are to have met you on a dating app, and blah blah blah. This can make you believe that they really do like you and they’ll make plans to see you again when really they’re just feeling that high of instant connection and lust. Sadly, there’s nothing more concrete to back it up and they’re not sure how to handle it.
He’s playing with you.
You might not have heard the last of this ghoster. Disappearing on you like that might be part of his plan to keep you guessing because he thinks that will give him power over you. He thinks it makes him seem more appealing. He’s trying to prey on your insecurities. Ugh. Make sure you’ve locked the door so he can’t get back in.
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