What can I say? Some guys like to have their cake and eat it too. While this doesn’t apply to all guys, there some out there who still have a desire to see other women even when they find themselves in a happy relationship. It kind of defies all logic, right? While I can promise I can fix this problem, I can try to shed some light on it and explain why it happens.
- He’s looking for freedom. One of the biggest reasons why men sometimes avoid commitment is because they feel it infringes on their freedom. Even if this guy has found someone who makes him happy, he can still feel trapped. Being able to see other people can provide the freedom he craves. It makes him feel like he’s not stuck in a relationship. In this case, seeing other women probably isn’t going to make him any happier. However, he probably likes to have options available.
- He’s still attracted to other women. To be fair, this sounds obvious and maybe even a little sleazy. However, it’s hard to stop being attracted to other women just because you’re happy with someone else. Ideally, it would work that way, but you just can’t flip a switch and stop noticing attractive women and being curious about your chances with them. While a lot of guys are able to push past this feeling, the ones who can’t feel a strong desire to see other women outside of their relationship.
- He’s not sure the relationship will last. Even when things seem to be going well, guys aren’t always sure that a relationship will last. There are a lot of things that give us reason to doubt the longevity of a relationship. At the same time, a lot of guys like to have a Plan B available to ease the pain of a breakup and prevent us from being alone. This is one reason why some guys don’t always give up seeing other women even after finding someone who makes them happy.
- He wants to feel younger. For some, dating multiple women is one way to feel that way. It’s something a lot of us probably did when we were younger. As long as we keep doing it, we can shake the feeling that we’re old and settled. It’s a form of a mid-life crisis and in no way your fault.
- He craves attention. Look, some of us didn’t get enough attention when we were kids which causes major issues as adults. Being able to see other women and date multiple people helps us get the attention we crave. Granted, during the early part of a relationship, one person is sometimes enough. But when that fades away, some guys get the itch to date other women so they can be the focal point of someone’s attention again.
- He misses flirting. Again, this sounds a little stupid, but it’s true for some guys. I think we all recognize that there is less flirting the deeper you get into a relationship. This doesn’t mean a guy isn’t happy with you, but if he misses that initial interaction a little too much, he may have more interest in seeing other women. In a way, this relates back to some men craving attention. Some guys miss the fun and thrill of flirting with someone new, even if they seem to be in a happy relationship.
- He thinks he’s missing out. This is another obvious yet confusing reason. Some men think that the grass is always greener on the other side. Even if we’re in a happy relationship, we crave being single. Some guys will romanticize being on their own and think that they’re missing out. They’re not ready to leave a relationship but they also want to be free to see other people so they can recreate the feeling of being single.
- He doesn’t think you’re “the one.” It’s possible for a guy to be happy with you but not be convinced that you’re the one he wants to spend forever with (or even the next few years). Sorry if that sounds a little cruel, but it’s the truth. If he still thinks “the one” could be out there, he’ll want to see other people. Granted, that could change with time. But unless a guy thinks you could be his forever person, there will be a part of him that’s looking elsewhere.
- He has low self-esteem. Low self-esteem isn’t always as easy to spot as you think it is. For some guys, there’s a constant need to seek validation and prove themselves. Even if he’s happy with you, he may not want to settle. He’ll feel compelled to see other people because he thinks it’ll make him feel better about himself. Needless to say, things can get complicated for guys with low self-esteem.
- He wants to fulfill a fantasy. Fantasies don’t necessarily stop just because you’re in a happy relationship. Most guys still think about being with other women other than their current partner. Fortunately, most men can separate reality from their fantasies and just be happy with someone. However, some men can’t stop themselves from wanting to act out their fantasies, which is why they want to see other women or start affairs.
