Why “He’s Too Good For Me” Is The Wrong Attitude

Look how we torture ourselves. We spend all this time looking for the right people (and dutifully getting rid of the wrong ones), and then when we do find great guys, we worry that they’re out of our league. That perspective not only can ruin some otherwise great relationships, and it can also stop them from starting in the first place. The habit of assuming that anyone is too good for us has got to go — here’s why.

  1. You’ll never be in his head. You can tell yourself stories all day about how he could be dating supermodels instead of normal girls like you, but at the end of the day that’s all they’ll be… stories. From your head.
  2. He might not choose you, but it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. Rejection can seep into every cell of your body if you let it, so don’t. If there can only be one right girl for him then there’s over 3.5 billion girls out there who are wrong for him. And a lot of them are f-ing amazing.
  3. True love doesn’t judge so much. You know you see those “mismatched” couples and are like how the hell did that happen? What happened is that they had a connection that went beyond the surface, and they let it lead the way.
  4. You don’t have to be the same to be equals. We all experience the same basic emotions, but it insanely different ways… maybe your fiery temper helps to ignite his passion. Balance and respect will always trump what sounds right on paper.
  5. No one is great every single second. We all have our crappy moments and our struggles, so it’s a mistake to assume that this perfect guy is actually perfect. He’s just not, and that’s OK, too.
  6. A great guy won’t let you feel that way. There’s a difference between the tiresome insecurities we keep carrying around for some reason and some mean attitude from a rude dude. Know the difference and when actually you’re the one that’s too good for him.
  7. Because you’re simply judging yourself. Who’s to say that his lifestyle, or accolades, or family is better than any other? If you’re feeling that, it’s most likely coming from in you, and we’ve got to stop being so hard on ourselves.
  8. It makes it harder to make real assessments. If your first impression is that he’s too good for you, you’ll think he can do no wrong and be blind to the real red flags or considerations that you should actually be paying attention to.
  9. It’s a mind trick. Sometimes we think we want things, but we’re scared. Fear makes us believe weird things that will keep us where we are. Making the decision for someone else that you’re not good enough, is pure mind trickery.
  10. It devalues what you’ve got. So he’s way hotter and smarter than you? OK. Maybe you’re cuter, and funnier, and nicer. Embrace what you’ve got no matter what it is, because it makes it easier for other people to see it as well.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com