We all have a list of qualities we’re looking for in a guy — a good sense of humor, a decent job, intelligence, etc. — but the most important one on mine is a bit unconventional: I look for the guy who loves his mother. Why? Because all of those other qualities mean nothing if he doesn’t value and respect the woman who gave him life. It’s a reflection of his character, an indicator of what kind of man he was raised to be, and it gives me a true idea of what I’m getting myself into.
He’s been raised with values and morals. If he has a good relationship with his mom, it’s safe to say he was raised in a home with love, respect, and probably a healthy amount of discipline. He was raised with good values and morals and likely seeks to create the same scenario in his own adult life, which is good news for me, since I eventually want to settle down.
It’s hot as hell. There’s nothing more attractive than a man who is kind to his mother and tells her often how much he appreciates her. It proves that he’s secure in his masculinity and doesn’t feel like showing his mom love makes him look weak or girly.
He knows about unconditional love. There’s no doubt that his mom has made some mistakes in her life. Maybe she disappointed him from time to time. They may not have always agreed on everything. There were times where she made him angry, embarrassed him, or did things that he couldn’t quite understand. But no matter what happened, he still loves her. Unconditionally. And who doesn’t want the man that knows a thing or two about unconditional love?
He truly respects women. Not only did his mother teach him a thing or two about respect, but he developed a first-hand sense of respect just by being close to her. He sees how strong a woman can be — he watched his mom hold his family together, he watched her nurture, watched her work hard and he watched her accomplish goals. He developed a form of respect for women that can’t be taught, but rather one that is intrinsic.
He’s not afraid to express his feelings. I look for the man who tells his mom every day that he loves her. He’s sensitive, compassionate and communicative. This is the man that knows how to be affectionate, who’s able to communicate his feelings openly, and who’s not afraid to love.
He was raised to be a gentleman. Who better to teach a man how to treat a woman than another woman? His mom was an advocate for chivalry. He will hold the door for you, he will offer his jacket when it’s cold and he will be the guy you can bring home to your own mother.
He’s probably really romantic. If he’s bringing flowers for his mom, you can bet he’s going to surprise you with a nice bouquet here and there, as well. He saw the smile on his mom’s face when his dad did something romantic for her. He knows the effect on a woman when a man plans a romantic evening, and I can bet he’s going to use it.
He doesn’t take family for granted. The man who loves his mom is family-oriented. He knows how lucky he is to have his mom, and his family is important to him. This is the man I want to start a family with — the man who will always put family first, the one who will do anything to make them happy, and the one who will always find the time for his family.
Our future kids will learn from him. Every woman fears having a bad relationship with their kids. Your kids will learn a lot from your husband. Children are all about the ‘monkey see, monkey do’ and how to treat their mother is definitely one of the things they’ll pick up from him. I look for the guy who’s going to set a good example for our kids —the one who will show them how important it is to love and respect their mom.
I know he’ll treat me well based on how he treats his mother. If a man disrespects his mother, I’m out the door. If a man can’t respect the woman who carried him in her stomach for nine months, endured a painful birth to bring him into the world, and sacrificed everything to provide for her child, there’s a real problem. If he speaks rudely to her or puts her down, I can bet that he’ll eventually communicate with me in the same way, and I’m not here for that crap.
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