Why I’m Over Women Who “Don’t Do Female Friendships”

For some silly reason, it seems to have become trendy to not have female friends. I have plenty of male friends and while I love and appreciate them, they don’t come close to the women in my life. How could guys compare? Here’s why I can’t deal with women who refuse to be friends with other women and claim they “just prefer guys.”

  1. Women are half the population. As of this writing, there are about 7.6 billion people in the world, about half of which are female. That’s a whole heck of a lot of people to discredit just because of their genitalia. It’s like saying women shouldn’t work or learn to read just because they’re women. Why write off so many people before you even give them the chance? That’s some straight-up sexism.
  2. Not all women are the same. It’s always women saying that they don’t do female relationships, seemingly unaware that they too are female. Why do you think you’re special but no one other woman in the world might also have similar interests or hangout styles?
  3. Different situations need different personalities. Ever notice how you call certain friends based on what kind of advice you want to hear? If I’m dating someone, I’ve got some friends who are more likely to encourage me to overlook flaws and others who will be harsher critics. I gravitate to who I need, but my male friends? Roughly 98% of the time their advice is to just “ghost him.” But like, I wanna get laid, so I need some other takes sometimes.
  4. It forces women to be competitive with each other. If you have to be the only girl in your friend group because you “don’t do female relationships,” then you’re creating competition with other women for who gets to hang with the guys, and heads up, you’re the one creating drama then. It’s 2020. Get over yourself and realize that there’s room for more than one minority at the table. Make space.
  5. A woman’s compliment just means more. I don’t know about you, but when I dress up to look hot, I’m looking for approval from my female friends, not my male friends. Because my female friends get it. They know what it’s like, they’re there to amp me up and make me feel supported, and they’re also trustworthy to tell me when something’s just not working for me. I’d rather see myself through their gaze, which offers support for who I am as a person, than have to see myself as how hot or cool I come off to the guys.
  6. I’m sick of pressure to be “the cool girl.” Why does it feel like being the “cool girl” means compromising myself? Not that pressure to fit in is exclusive to guy groups (really, it’s probably less with them), but if you’re the only woman in the group, it’s a lot easier to have anything they don’t like blamed on my being a woman. I don’t want to be ragged on for needing a place to pee that’s not covered in poison ivy.
  7. Sleepovers. Who else remembers one of the best movies of all time, Sleepover? If not, do yourself a favor and go watch it now, preferably while at a sleepover. True equality is when a sleepover with guys (and I’m talking about a true sleepover, not a sexy time sleepover) is even half as fun as a sleepover with the girls.
  8. Guys are smellier. Whether it’s over-spraying Axe or farting with abandon, guys give off some pretty strong odors. The more guys you have in any given room, the higher chance you’re going to not want to breathe in that room. I’m not saying we all need to pretend we don’t fart, but as a general statement, men tend to be stinkier than women. Blame it on nature or nurture, but experience doesn’t lie.
  9. Girls nights out are a special kind of night out. There’s just something about getting dressed up for the sake of getting dressed up, going out with a group you feel supported by, and having a world of possibilities open to you. I find it really hard to orchestrate a hookup when I’m out with a bunch of guy friends. I don’t want to come off as too sexy around them and mess with our dynamic, and also, it can be intimidating for other guys. It’s just another vibe and while it can be good most nights, I don’t want it every night.
  10. Treat others like you would like to be treated. If you don’t want to hang out with other women because you feel like they knock you down, don’t sink to that level. Be part of the solution. Be kind, be inclusive. If your friends are causing lots of drama and acting two-faced, then you have crappy friends. But that’s because of who they are, not because they have a vagina. Get new friends and don’t be afraid to find ones you can pee with.
A writer, editor, and generally confused-about-life 24 year old. I write about my travels and conversations with white men, because apparently I think bars are prime places to talk about gender issues. And honestly, they usually are.