Why Is He Avoiding You? 12 Reasons He’s Steering Clear, According To A Guy

As you’re probably well-aware, guys aren’t always great at communicating their feelings, especially when it comes to relationships. In fact, there might be times when he ignores you, or at least it seems like that’s what he’s doing. Unfortunately, it’s not always clear why a guy seems to be icing you out or keeping his distance. There could be a lot of explanations for his strange behavior, but here are a few of the most common.

  1. He’s preoccupied. As I said, it’s not always about you. If he’s preoccupied with the other things in his life, he might not be giving his partner the attention she deserves. It could be career stuff or family trouble, it doesn’t matter. Some guys don’t compartmentalize well and so they end up avoiding you while trying to focus on other things.
  2. His interest is fading. Again, this isn’t necessarily your fault, but if a guy’s interest in you is starting to fade for whatever reason, you’ll notice him starting to stay clear of you. He might be looking for a little time to sort out his feelings. It’s also possible that he doesn’t like confrontation and just wants things to fizzle naturally rather than formally dump you.
  3. Things are moving too fast. Well, at least in his mind, things are moving too fast. Obviously, you might have a different perspective on things. However, if things are going lightning-speed in his eyes, his instinct will be to step back and create some space. He’ll purposely avoid you just as a way to slow things down.
  4. He has an interest in someone else. Unfortunately, people can’t control when we develop feelings for people. The guy you’re dating could start to take an interest in someone else, leading him to take a step back. Again, it’s not about you. He’s like feeling a little confused about dating one person while having feelings for another. That will lead to him giving you the cold shoulder while he tries to sort things out.
  5. He feels smothered. While this is similar to things moving too fast, it’s not quite the same. In his opinion, which can be pretty far from reality, you’re being too clingy and getting too attached. He doesn’t want to break up, he just wants a little more space, so he’ll spend a little time ignoring you.
  6. It’s something you said. Unfortunately, there’s no way of knowing what it is you said to upset him. But there might have been something that rubbed him the wrong way. If he’s not interested in talking about his feelings, he might just ignore you for a little while rather than tell you why you upset him. Of course, most of the time, he just needs a little time to get over it.
  7. He wants to punish you. It’s possible that you may have done or said something unsavory or insulting to him. After all, nobody’s perfect. Some guys might respond to that by avoiding you as a form of punishment. To be fair, not all guys recognize that they’re doing this; it’s just the way they respond to a bump in the road.
  8. He’s suspicious of you. Are you cheating on him? Maybe, maybe not, but if he’s suspicious of your fidelity, he might start avoiding you. You’ll see this a lot with more passive-aggressive guys. Instead of asking you about it, they’ll just assume the worst and freeze you out or avoid you while they try to figure out the truth.
  9. He’s having a bad day. This is another example of a guy ignoring you when it has nothing to do with you. If he has a bad day for whatever reason, he may completely shut down and avoid you. In fact, he might be upset and not want to take it out on you. Honestly, sometimes you just have to know when to give a guy space.
  10. He’s a shy guy. Always keep in mind that if a guy is inherently shy, avoiding you could be his natural way of being. You might misinterpret his behavior as avoiding you, but it’s possible he’s just a shy guy who isn’t sure if you want him to make a move.
  11. He made a mistake. Some guys will shut down when they’ve done something wrong, which will manifest in you thinking that they’re ignoring you. It could be a relationship mistake or something unrelated that makes him feel ashamed. He might not want to fess up to his mistake or deal with the fallout, which means he’ll ignore you for a little while and hope it goes away.
  12. He has a secret. Obviously, it’s anybody’s guess what that secret could be, but if he’s trying to conceal something from you, good or bad, he will surely try to avoid you. If he steers clear of you, he’ll be less likely to let his secret slip out.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.