Why It’s Always Better To Date Someone With Baggage

Baggage is something to avoid in relationships, right? Not really. We all have some, but we try our best to hide it. However, I think it’s time we quit trying to find Mr. Perfect and instead find someone who isn’t ashamed of their past. It’s far easier to date someone with baggage, anyway. It might not always work out, but at least you’re not dealing with a faker. Go ahead and date the sexy guy you just met who seems a little broken. You might just be the one to fix him – here’s why.

  1. There’s less judgment. The great thing about having someone else with baggage is there’s far less judgment. Seriously, how can they judge you when they’re just as messed up as you? Imagine the freedom of not having to hide everything and still being liked.
  2. You understand each other’s issues. Does he have problems going back to the restaurant where the woman he thought loved him was caught cheating? It’s okay, you understand. You have your own set of issues, too. Anyone with baggage is far more likely to be sympathetic towards other people’s.
  3. It’s okay if you have a past. Why is it a woman isn’t supposed to ever have a past? I wasn’t born on the day you met me. Give me a guy with a past of his own. He’s not going to freak out the moment I bring up some awkward moment with another guy that happened five years ago.
  4. You’re both able to love more deeply. You know what baggage really means? You’ve been through hell and you made it. It hurt, but now you have a deeper appreciation for love. You might try to hide it, but those with baggage always love deeper and harder than those without it.
  5. You know yourselves better. Wouldn’t it be nice to date a guy who was a little more self-aware? The more you go through in life, the more you understand yourself. When you know yourself, you accept who you are. It also makes it easier to accept others.
  6. They understand what they want. Along with self-awareness, you also learn what you really want from life, including relationships. This means those with baggage are less likely to date just for the heck of it. They know what they want in a person and a relationship. It’s nice to know they actually want you for you.
  7. They’re okay if you want to take it slow. You’ve been hurt in the past and don’t want to rush into anything. Choose a person with baggage and they’ll understand. They’ve got a past too. They know exactly why you’re not in a hurry and they’re incredibly patient.
  8. They know what they’re risking. If you want someone to commit, look for someone with baggage. When they get into a relationship, they do so knowing what they’re risking. They’re not going to run the moment they fall deeper in love. If they agree to a relationship, it’s because they’re willing to risk their own heart to be with you.
  9. You’ll feel more normal. I’ve dated some extremely superficial guys in the past. I always felt self conscious. Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could just be yourself? Guys with baggage are comfortable with themselves and they don’t expect you to be fake either. You finally get to be normal and not be judged.
  10. They know how to love. Obviously if their heart was broken, they’ve been there and done that with the whole love thing. They’re not out to find their first love. They know how to love. They’re just looking for a person who’s worthy of their affection.
  11. You get to figure things out together. Sometimes we find the right person at the wrong time. If you’re dating someone with baggage, you not only get love, but someone to help you work through your issues. You both get a shoulder to cry on and a best friend to help you overcome your past.
  12. They’ve learned from their mistakes. Most people with baggage have learned from the mistakes they’ve made. Maybe a guy used to only go after the supermodel type or tried the whole bad guy routine because he thought women liked it. He learned it didn’t work. Now he’s a better person because of his past.
  13. They’ll call you out on your own issues. Think you’re perfect? Go ahead a date someone with baggage. They’ve owned their issues. They’re not about to put up with you ignoring your own. They don’t just call you on your issues. They also help you through them.
  14. There’s more compassion. Those who’ve been hurt and made mistakes tend to have more compassion. They know how it feels and they don’t want anyone else to feel that way. Want a guy who’s more in touch with his feelings? Try one with baggage. It’s pretty easy to break down the tough guy exterior once they trust you.
  15. They’re more grounded. Baggage means life didn’t just happen. It jumped up and bit you in the ass. You’re knocked off your pedestal. The only real option you have is to become a more grounded person. It’s more attractive anyway. Plus, guys who are more grounded are far less likely to be jerks.
    1. Finding a guy who’s learned from his baggage isn’t always easy, but it’s definitely easier and more satisfying to date this type of guy.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.