Why It’s Better To Date Around Than Settle Down

If you’re actively dating, then you’re aware of how awful it can be 90% of the time. Once you find a guy that you actually might have real feelings for, you’re ready to call it a day – not because you’re convinced he’s the one, but because you have absolutely zero interest in continuing the hunt. Unfortunately, that means limiting your options in a real way. Plus, when it comes to friends, it’s not like you find one new ones and then give up immediately. While I’m not suggesting you become polyamorous (unless that’s what you’re into), I am saying that one good Tinder date does not a relationship make. Here are perfectly solid reasons to keep several guys in rotation at once.

  1. They’re probably doing the exact same thing. Look, I know peer pressure shouldn’t exist, especially as an adult. I’m just saying that in this day and age, it seems like there’s always another date hidden in a different app or at another bar. Obviously, it’s nice to believe that you’re such a ridiculously cool human person that after one date with you the boy in question will delete every app he’s ever been on, but that’s rarely the case IRL.
  2. It keeps you from getting too attached too soon. Everyone knows that it’s entirely too easy to to start obsessing over someone before it’s socially acceptable. If you’re balancing a rotation of dudes, you’re far too busy fitting everyone into your busy schedule to think about whether or not your new guy is the love of your life (spoiler alert: unfortunately, he probably isn’t).
  3. You’ll be less likely to overanalyze everything. It’s harder to wonder when someone’s going to text you next when you’re talking to two other guys, because there’s always someone texting you. It’s way better than having your phone in hand at all times, obsessing over what you did wrong on your last date. Whenever you date there’s the risk of heartbreak, but if you keep it casual, an almost-relationship is far less likely to destroy you.
  4. You’ll always have something to do. One of my friends keeps a list handy of bars and restaurants she’s been dying to try, so when a new dude comes into the picture, she automatically has a place to go. While that requires research, it keeps dating from feeling like such a chore because you’re always exploring somewhere new.
  5. You’ll never suffer from lack of attention. Be honest – one of the best parts of dating someone new is that little flutter you get whenever they text you some ridiculous inside joke that you just created. Imagine getting that feeling all the time, instead of just once in a blue moon.
  6. You’ll get to take a break from swiping. Once you find a couple of dudes you like enough to see regularly, you’ll be able to finally forget about every dating app you’ve ever downloaded. Sure, you might find them there to begin with, but you won’t be left seeing someone but wondering if you should still be searching for potential gentleman callers on the interwebs. If you’re already dating multiple dudes, there’s less first date dread in your future, making your love life seem less like work.
  7. You know that saying, “when it rains, it pours?” That’s true for love, too – not just the weather.  Have you ever noticed that the second you start seeing someone, guys start coming out of the woodwork? It’s like all your exes can sense that you’ve finally  moved on and swoop back in to interrupt. You’ll feel a little bit more confident knowing you have options, and people will be able to sense that — whether it’s cute guys on the subway or your exes who stalk you on social media.
Margaret is a freelance writer who covers pop culture and fashion in New York City and currently writes for Page Six's Style section. Her work has been featured in Teen Vogue, xoJane, and Racked. She tweets about her crippling caffeine addiction and teen TV obsession here: @margaretabrams