Why It’s Okay Not To Want Kids

Why It’s Okay Not To Want Kids ©iStock/alexandr_1958

Although mothers will often tell us child-free folks that we won’t truly understand what happiness is until we have kids, that doesn’t mean we should run out and have them. The world is changing, gender roles aren’t what they used to be, and a lot of women just don’t want kids. It might be difficult for others to understand, but if you don’t want to have kids, that’s your business. It’s your life, and if living a child-free life is part of your plan, then so be it. It’s totally okay not to have kids, and not to want them in the first place, and here’s why.

  1. Motherhood isn’t a priority for you. You have stuff to do, people to see, and places to go – none of which involves diapers, morning sickness, or giving up your independence.
  2. You want to focus on your career. While many will call this a copout, it’s not. There’s nothing wrong with focusing on your career and making it an important part of you life.
  3. You know you’re not mother material. You kill plants all the time, and if your dog didn’t remind you it’s dinnertime, you might forget to feed him, too. It’s just not in your blood.
  4. The world is already overpopulated. And you, giving a damn about the planet, just don’t feel like contributing the population and carbon footprint problems. Go you!
  5. Your independence is paramount. You can come and go as you please, jump a plane to Fiji if the mood strikes, and just prefer rolling solo. Kids immediately murder solo time the second they take their first breath outside the womb.
  6. You don’t want the responsibility. You have a hard enough time being responsible for yourself, so being responsible for yourself just isn’t going to happen.
  7. You’re not financially prepared for them. And, honestly, you’re not even sure if you ever will be.
  8. Emotionally, you couldn’t handle it. You’re fragile, you’re screwed up, you’re human, and would prefer to wallow in your emotions without having to cater to another human being.
  9. You have stuff you want to do with your life. Like lots of crap; most of which includes travel and figuring out who the hell you are. You just want to live your life to the fullest.
  10. You’re selfish. Being selfish is NOT a bad thing, and anyone who tells you different is just jealous that you can admit to it. Everyone is selfish to a degree.
  11. You have no desire to grow up. And if you can escape it, why wouldn’t you?
  12. You’re not particularly fond of kids. Some people just think kids suck, and that’s OK.
  13. You’re content being an aunt. You have a bunch of nieces and nephews, so what more do you need?
  14. You love your sleep. Having kids means kissing your sleep goodbye … at least until they go off to college.
  15. You don’t want to destroy your body. Pregnancy wrecks havoc on a body. If you want to keep yours intact, then that’s your choice. It doesn’t make you shallow or self-involved; it makes you aware of a reality.
  16. You’d rather regret not having them, than having them and being stuck. Can you imagine having kids and regretting them? You can’t miss what you never have.
  17. You have better things to spend your money on. Kids, from birth up to 18 years of age, not even including college, cost about $245,000 for a middle-income couple. Now just think about what you could have spent that money on instead.
  18. You only have one life to live. So there’s no point in screwing around with it by locking yourself into what you’re not even sure you want.
  19. You just don’t want to have kids. Need I say more?
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.