Why It’s Okay to Sleep With With Your Ex

Why It’s Okay to Sleep With With Your Ex ©iStock/gpointstudio

Sleeping with your ex, also known as The Backslide – it’s taboo, but it happens. Others will advise you against it. Your bestie will give you an earful when you admit that you want to be intimate with a guy who’s no longer good enough to have the boyfriend title but everyone gets lonely now and again and for some reason making love with one of our exes seems like the best cure. It can be tricky not to let your emotions get messy and confused but if you can separate them, ex love-making can be great. Here’s why sleeping with your ex isn’t always a bad idea.

  1. No first time jitters. Sleeping with someone for the first time can be downright daunting. It usually makes for an awkward first time and neither of you are really sure if you’re incompatible or if your nerves got the best of you. If you sleep with your ex, there won’t be any fumbling or missteps. You immediately get right back into the groove. Sleeping with your ex is just like riding a… well, you get it.
  2. He already knows what you like. Not only do you get to avoid the nerves of having a new partner, but you don’t need the time to explore each other’s bodies to figure out what you like. Your ex already knows. You don’t have to be embarrassed to ask for what you like in bed because he already knows and will probably go straight to it.
  3. You won’t raise your number. Some women are hesitant about taking new lovers, purely for the reason that they don’t want to raise their number. Let’s face it – sometimes you just need to get some and if you’re not currently in a relationship, that leaves you with two options: someone old or someone new. If keeping your number low is important to you, going for round two with an ex will keep your number the same.
  4. It’s safe. You’ve (hopefully) already had every conversation about intimate health you should be having with your ex. You should always be safe, but you already know about your ex’s history and can feel comforted knowing that your health isn’t something you need to worry about while you’re getting busy.
  5. You can indulge in nostalgia! Sleeping with your ex is like streaming that bad ’90s pop song that you and your best friend made a dance routine to or like returning to your favorite ice cream shop when you were a child. Sometimes it’s nice to remember the times that were and even if this person won’t be a major part of your life in the near future, it’s nice to feel close to your ex who at one point in time meant so much to you.
  6. You won’t sleep with a new guy too early. You’re most likely not sitting at home drinking a bottle of wine and watching BRAVO – not every night, at least. You’re probably out Tinder-ing and dating, and if you haven’t knocked boots in a while, your libido will be a little higher than usual. If you have sleep with your ex while you’re actively trying to move on, your desires will be taken care of and you can proceed at a regular pace with any new men in your life and won’t jump into bed with them too quickly to satisfy your urges.
  7. It’s totally normal. At one point or another, everyone has slept with their ex. Whether they miss their ex or are hoping that a new romp will reignite their former flame. No mater what anyone says, they have done it too at some point, so don’t feel bad or give yourself any grief. If it’s what you need, get it out of your system so you can move on.
Abby Stern grew up in New Orleans and is now an actress, screenwriter, and blogger (who isn't?) trying to keep it real in Los Angeles. She also writes for FabFitFun and contributes to various blogs detailing her unique perspective on dating and twenty-something life in Hollywood. Gwyneth Paltrow is her spirit animal and in her free time, Abby enjoys Bellinis and plotting to steal unattended Birkin bags. Follow her on Twitter: @abbystern