Finding someone to settle down with as a long-term partner isn’t easy, but if you’re going to grow old with someone, it needs to be with the right person. Finding a partner that is your equal will remove a lot of potential problems and your relationship will be much more likely to last forever. Here’s why you should only ever be with someone who’s on your level.
- You won’t feel like you’re settling. There’s nothing worse for a relationship than for one partner to feel like they settled for less than they think they deserve. When someone believes they’ve downgraded in their relationship or could do better, they’re more likely to look outside the partnership for someone that’s better suited for them. They may look for someone who’s more attractive or more sexually compatible. They might feel like they settled for someone that doesn’t make enough money or isn’t smart enough. No one should settle for less than what they’re looking for in a relationship.
- You can challenge each other. No, not like a challenge of physical strength (although that might be a good thing if you’re both into running marathons or lifting weights). You challenge each other emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually. Both of you refuse to let the other give up. You help each other set goals and meet them.
- You can grow together. As your relationship goes through ups and downs, both of you grow as people. You become better when you’re together. You accomplish bigger things. You deal with problems and are stronger when the two of you are working on them. Growth bonds you together.
- You’ll make major decisions together. Important decisions are made through conversation, communication, and balancing out what is best for the two of you. One person’s opinions and ideas are not more important than the other’s so you make decisions together.
- Income discrepancy will be less likely to cause tension. If you have jobs that earn a similar income, there’s less likely to be a problem deciding who pays for what. Each of you contributes equally to the expenses of your household. Even if one earns less money, you’re still equals and the value of each person’s work is the same.
- You won’t feel like your partner is holding you back. People in relationships with someone who they don’t feel is their equal may feel that their partner is holding them back from things like career advancement, emotional growth, or other goals. Both of your dreams and aspirations are important, so neither partner would hold the other back, even if the other is reaching for targets that aren’t as important to them.
- You won’t feel pressured by high expectations. If you and your partner have the same or similar aspirations in life, you won’t feel pressured about expectations. When one has bigger plans than the other person, it can result in pressure to do more in life. That pressure can cause rifts and disagreements and leave one person feeling like they are not doing enough.
- Running a household will be more evenly balanced. Equal partners understand the importance of sharing household work. No one ends up doing more because there’s an understanding that each of them is responsible for chores. After all, both of you live there.
- One person’s needs won’t be more important than the other’s. Each person in a relationship has needs that must be met, but no one’s needs are considered as more valid than the other’s because you are equals. You both strive to meet your partner’s needs and recognize that doing so contributes to the happiness of your relationship.
- You’ll have a more satisfying sex life. As equals, you both understand that meeting your partner’s needs in bed is as important as meeting any other needs. You communicate about what you each want and need to feel satisfied and take pleasure in providing your partner with the things that they crave. As a result, your sex life is something that you both work on and value in your relationship.
Equality in a relationship doesn’ mean that you’re exactly the same in terms of your goals and needs. It means that you realize that as a team, your worth is the same. If you’re on the same page about that, everything else will fall into place.