I hate to resort to generalizations, but it’s definitely true that men tend to need space in a relationship way more often than women do. Sometimes it feels like this conveniently happens when s**t gets a little too real and others it comes out of nowhere. Whatever the situation, however, it’s still confusing, upsetting, and kinda annoying, to be honest. If you want to know why this happens so regularly, here are a few possible explanations.
- They’ve got their own drama. If you’ve only recently started dating and you’re not all that close just yet, you can’t exactly expect a guy to spill his guts to you when there’s stuff going on in his life. Why would he? Many men say they need space when there’s something emotionally or mentally taxing happening outside of the relationship, from family illness to work stress or any number of things in between. It’s not necessarily about you, but it would be great if they would at least communicate that.
- They’re getting cold feet. There are a lot of commitment-phobes out there, as I’m sure you know. If you’re getting closer and closer and things are getting more serious with the respective men in your life — you’re about to become official, you’re ready to move in together, etc. — that could be a big reason why they suddenly need space. They’re freaking out about the fact that they’re truly leaving their bachelor lifestyle behind. Give them time to get over it.
- You’ve been fighting a lot lately. A lot of men don’t like confrontation, especially if they know they’re in the wrong, which is why they’ll often suddenly “need space” when you call them out on something or if your relationship is becoming particularly rocky. The mature thing to do would be to stay and talk it out and work on the issues between you, but that doesn’t always happen. If you notice this is the case, pull your partner on it. You shouldn’t have to put up with that.
- You’re becoming a little bit clingy. A classic (obnoxious) guy move is pulling away when they feel like you’re being “clingy” or “needy.” I put those things in quotes because you’re often being no such thing, though it is important to examine your own behavior to see if your partner has a point. If he determines that you’re getting a little too attached and it’s getting too intense for him, he’s going to back away. Hopefully it’s just temporary, but still.
- They’re not really sure how they feel about you. This is a toughie but it’s true. Men sometimes need space because they’re just not into you or they’re not entirely sure if they like you quite as much as you like them. It’s a bit of a bummer to realize this, but if that’s the case, you’re better off cutting your losses now.