Why Are None Of The Guys I Like Actually Available?

Great guys are hard to come by. I meet plenty of single dudes, but most of them aren’t looking for anything real. They’re not interested in my mind and they certainly don’t want to treat me right. Every time I do manage to find a good one, he’s already taken. What gives?

  1. I’m a relationship girl and the relationship guys are already in one. That’s why I’m looking for a relationship guy. The only problem is that relationship guys are already in relationships. They’re not sitting around being single — they’ve already found really great girls and now they’re living happily ever after together. Ugh.
  2. I won’t steal another girl’s boyfriend. I would never stoop to that level. We all deserve to find a good man and that’s why I’d never attempt to sabotage another woman’s chance at a happy ending. We have to stick together and look out for each other. So while I might be envious of their happiness, a bigger part of me is happy for them and hope they would be for me if the situation was reversed.
  3. I’m a catch, so why the hell am I still single? If there really are available great guys left out there, then where are they and why hasn’t one scooped me up yet? I’m looking for great guys, but where are the great guys looking for great girls like me? I’m confident in who I am and I know I deserve a good man, I just wish knowing that would make it at least a little bit easier to find it.
  4. I hate that women mature faster than boys. It leaves us at a disadvantage. I keep waiting for guys to grow up and want relationships, but they take way too long to grow out of their player stage. I don’t want to date an old man and I don’t want to put up with an immature young guy. I just want a mature man who just so happens to be single.
  5. Tinder has single men but they’re all nightmares. Tinder wasn’t made for relationship girls. It was made for people to get laid. Where’s the free app to find people in your area that don’t want just sex? I want love but I don’t want to pay a subscription fee to find it. I gave Tinder a chance, hoping that there would at least be a few guys really looking for love. Alas they’re all pervs in disguise.
  6. The bars are full of players. Good guys aren’t hanging at the bars unless they’re there with their girlfriends. The problem is that I don’t know where single guys looking for real relationships hang out. I’m sick of guys pretending to want something more and revealing at the end of the night that the only thing they want is a quick hookup. I’m sick of being led on and I’m over the bar scene. Now, can someone tell me where the good guys like to hang, please?
  7. I’m looking for boyfriend material. I think that’s hard to find in modern dating, though. It’s so incredibly frustrating to wonder if the thing I want even exists anymore. Are there guys out there who are still looking to be good boyfriends and future husbands, or are the majority of men only looking for something casual where they don’t really need to care about how another human being feels? I guess I’m worried that so few good men are left that there’s a high chance that they’ve already found someone and that’s why I’m left with no one.
  8. Hookup culture has ruined dating for me. So many of the good guys are now bad boys. All they want is sex, but I want love first. Sex seems to be a prerequisite for a relationship now, though. It’s a try it before you buy it kind of world and since I don’t play that game, it sounds like this girl will be staying on the shelf.
  9. I feel like I have the worst luck. Every time I’m actually feeling something for a guy, the next thing I know, he’s telling me about his amazing girlfriend. Sometimes I wish that a person’s relationship status was plastered on their face so I would know if he’s good to go or if I’m wasting my time. I’m glad that I’m only attracted to good guys at this point in my life — I just wish my luck would change and at some point, one of them would actually be single.
  10. I really do wonder if there are any good single men left. What if they really are all taken? Am I just supposed to wait around for a couple to realize that they’re not right for each other? What if the man I’m meant to be with is already with someone else? I just want to find a really great guy who’s actually available but I’m starting to wonder if those two things are mutually exclusive.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.