Why It’s OK To Love Mr. Wrong — At Least For A Little While

You’ve probably dated a guy who was terrible for you more than once in the past — maybe you’re even dating one right now — but is that really such a bad thing? After all, even the worst relationships still have something to teach us. As long as you learn from them and don’t make them permanent, loving Mr. Wrong is actually OK… at least for a little while.

  1. Falling in love is exhilarating.You’ll very rarely know up front if the person you’re falling for will be your lobster or penguin or forever-person, but that doesn’t devalue or undermine the sheer joy of falling for another human being.
  2. Dating Mr. Wrong can show you what you really want.Just because he’s not The One doesn’t mean the relationship will have no impact on you and the way you think. Learning about what kind of traits are incompatible with yours is invaluable and will help you in the future. In this case, two wrongs might make a right.
  3. You’ll learn new things about yourself when you’re in this kind of relationship.You’ll learn how you respond to being dissatisfied, how to separate logic from love, and how to observe yourself and your own needs. Learning to prioritize yourself while also being compassionate and loving is a skill that is learned and developed, and loving Mr Wrong will certainly help you on that path.
  4. There’s value in all types of love.He’s not the one you’ll end up with, but so what? There’s a reason you were attracted to each other in the first place, so savor it.
  5. There doesn’t always have to be an end game. Especially if you’re not looking to settle down, being with Mr. Wrong doesn’t have to be the end of the world, because…
  6. Who you date doesn’t define who you are. You’re more than just who you spend time with and care for — and it’s important to learn to keep yourself as an individual. Dating Mr. Wrong and figuring out your needs is a perfect place to learn this.
  7. Mr. Wrong might just show you the world. OK, maybe not shining, shimmering and splendid, but the people we love influence our interests and show us new things. Appreciating and learning from our partners — yes, even our exes — enriches our lives and shows us parts of the world we weren’t open to before.
  8. Companionship comes in all forms.If you’ve been single for a while, it’s OK to accept that you want companionship and that it doesn’t have to be with the perfect guy. Companionship is important and can help your self-esteem. It doesn’t matter that he won’t be your companion for life.
  9. Sex.Need I say more?
  10. No one is just their faults.We have an uncanny ability to look back at our romantic histories and demonise all of our exes. The truth is, everyone has a spark — a good quality that’s attractive, exciting or comforting. No one is only one element. Appreciate more than what makes a guy wrong for you and be grateful what else they bring into your life.
  11. Mr. Wrong can be a mirror into yourself. The people we’re most incompatible with tend to bring out our own flaws and make them stand out. If you’re willing to be objective and to put the time in, you can learn a lot about how you can grow as an individual.
  12. If you’re both on the same page, no one has to get hurt. There’s something empowering in both knowing that the relationship isn’t meant to be forever, but that you care for each other and enjoy each other’s company. It takes the pressure off and lets you be honest in a way you may not have been before.
  13. They may not be your Mr. Right, but they may be a good friend for life.If the romance goes completely after the initial passionate phase, there may be a friendship there worth keeping.
  14. It’s nice to have someone to care for — and someone to care for you.You don’t have to promise each other the world, and yes your relationship may change in the future, but having someone you love around who is your person can be a great help when you’re down and out.
  15. Loving Mr. Wrong will show you how you argue.Are you a hot head? Do you become distant and cold? Falling for someone you’re incompatible with can show you how you behave when you get angry — and there’s plenty of space for growth if you’re willing to observe your own reactions and learn from them.
  16. Loving Mr. Wrong will teach you about honest communication.If you’re not on the same page about how you perceive each other, this will be a hard (but worthwhile) lesson to learn. Speaking up for yourself and your needs will make you a better communicator in general and will give you more confidence.
  17. Nothing matures you like being with the wrong guy.From standing up for yourself to deciding what you want in a partner, there’s no better way to understand your own needs and clarify they precisely than loving the wrong guy for you.
  18. Sometimes loving Mr. Wrong is FUN. An exhilarating, passionate romance can be a pleasure. You can love a roller coaster while you’re on it, even though you wouldn’t want to be strapped in forever.
  19. Let’s be real — sometimes you just need someone to get you through the holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and Valentine’s Day. Four months with Mr. Wrong can keep you going through the cold, boost your self esteem, and give you companionship. It doesn’t have to be for forever, because…
  20. He may not be Mr. Right, but he could be Mr. Right Now. Enough said.