Why Do People Hate On Bars For First Dates? I Think They’re Great

When it comes to the dreaded first date, I have more experience than I even want to admit. Some people are all about meeting for a quick coffee and others love grabbing dinner, but I prefer going to a bar. I know it’s boring, but here’s why I really love drinks dates:

  1. Coffee dates don’t even feel like dates. I’m all about coffee (and as a writer, I think it’s illegal for me to hate the stuff) and yet I think coffee dates are the worst. I hate how super casual and brief they are and how it feels like I’m just grabbing a cup of joe with a friend and not a potential love interest.
  2. The date can be as long or as short as I want. If the first date sucks (as it often does), I don’t have to sit through an entire meal with a stranger that I have zero interest in seeing again. I love that a drinks date can be merely an hour if it’s horrible and several if things are going really well.
  3. A second dinner date is a no brainer. If the stars are aligned and the universe is smiling at me, the date will go well and we’re going to set up a second date. I always suggest meeting for dinner the second time I hang out with a new guy. It feels like a super obvious way to take things to the next level (actually ordering food instead of a glass or two of wine) while still taking things slow.
  4. It’s easy to suggest a second location. A drinks date is really flexible and if the date is going great, it’s easy to suggest grabbing some food at a nearby restaurant. That’s pretty much the best way to figure out if a guy is interested as well.
  5. I can learn a lot about a guy in a few hours. My drinks dates tend to last an average of two hours, and I usually find out everything that I want to in that time period. I can ask the guy about his job, where he grew up, his hobbies, etc. If we click, it’s pretty obvious and we can definitely spend a few more hours together the next time. Plus, if we don’t get along at all, then at least I didn’t waste too much time.
  6. Not drinking is one of my deal breakers. Call me super picky… or agree with me. I tried dating a guy that didn’t drink any alcohol at all and it ended up being a disaster. It was impossible to find things to do together since grabbing a drink at a pub on a Friday night is such a common date idea. When I suggest meeting at a bar for the first time, I find out pretty quickly if the guy drinks or not.
  7. It’s interesting to how much someone drinks. On a recent date, the guy got there early and was two-thirds of the way through his beer by the time I arrived. He ordered three more beers and it was just a lot for a first date (or anytime, really). Usually, the guys that I’m into order a beer or two and I have my own two-drink maximum for a date.
  8. It feels more romantic than an activity date. Some people are super into actually doing something on a date instead of just staring at the other person across a table. I get that… in theory. In reality, I don’t want to go for a walk or to an art gallery or a film festival with a total stranger. That’s my idea of hell. Anytime I’ve gone on an activity date, I feel like I’ve just made a new friend (and none of those dates went anywhere). Grabbing some drinks is casual but still feels more romantic than other types of evenings.
  9. I have a handful of good first date spots. I like suggesting the first date place because it’s the one thing that I can control. After being single and dating a lot for several years, I’m over taking the subway for an hour to meet a guy at a cool hipster bar that he deems the best ever. I would rather go somewhere convenient because if things go south, I can get home easily and safely.
  10. Guys tend to relax more with some alcohol. If a guy is stiff and awkward with a beer in him, I know he’s not for me. Eating a meal with a stranger can be the very definition of awkward and sharing a few drinks is chill and simple. Most people tend to relax and show me their true selves on a drinks date and I love that. After all, getting to know someone is the entire point of a first date.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.
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