Why Do So Many Guys Have No Idea How To Be A Good Partner?

A good relationship requires only a few things: trust, respect, love, communication and a willingness to put in the work when times get tough. It seems pretty simple, but it must be more complicated than it seems since so many guys seem so clueless about relationships. WTF?

  1. Women are a complete mystery to a lot of them. So many guys don’t get us. They never have, and maybe they never will. We think we’re pretty straightforward and that we’re open books, but there are things about females that will always confuse them. We think it’s ridiculous, but the fact remains the same. They aren’t like us and seem to have a very difficult time wrapping their little brains around how we operate.
  2. They’re scared of us. They don’t know what we’ll do next, and while that’s exhilarating, it’s also frightening to them. They don’t understand our moods, our reactions, or our emotional make-up. Dealing with them is super frustrating sometimes because what seems perfectly normal and logical to us makes no sense to them at all.
  3. They don’t get what we need. We think it’s simple — most women love compliments, flowers, gifts, and being treated well. That’s a generalization, of course. Guys need to tailor their actions a bit to the specific lady they’re trying to please. Still, it’s not THAT hard to figure out! Who doesn’t like being told she looks pretty? Who doesn’t like getting a thoughtful present for no reason or finding a sweet note where it’s least expected? It’s really not that hard.
  4. Even when you straight up tell them, they still don’t get it! This is extremely annoying. You can literally give them a blueprint for what you want, step-by-step instructions even, and somehow they still mess it up. How? It makes no sense. How can you literally tell someone, “Hey, when X happens, I need you to do Y,” and yet the very next time, he doesn’t follow a single word of it? It’s baffling.
  5. They don’t take the time to really listen. This is basically the only logical conclusion for how they can continue to screw it up over and over again. They must not be paying attention when you explain to them what you need. It’s complacency and laziness and absolutely unacceptable in a healthy relationship. He should care about making you happy.
  6. They forget everything because they’re lazy communicators. They either tune you out when you’re trying to have a serious conversation or they’re distracted. A lot of guys are easily distracted and they often forget to actively listen. It’s a problem when you’re with a guy like that. You’ll go slowly insane while he lies there, pleasantly oblivious to your anger. Then you get upset and he acts like he has no idea where it came from!
  7. Instead of trying to understand women, they write us off. Again. Lazy. They could take a little time to learn how we work instead of just deciding we’re being irrational or emotional. Yes, we have emotions. We are humans. Supposedly they have emotions too! Ugh. It’s such a cop-out to just write off our reactions and refuse to engage.
  8. They think we’re crazy, but they’re wrong. That’s how they justify not trying harder. They just say we’re being nuts, but really, they aren’t putting in the necessary effort. Maybe we are crazy… but for even wanting to be with these guys in the first place! They obviously don’t deserve us. The right man will never call you crazy just for being your own beautiful, unique self. He’ll love and appreciate you for who you are. These guys are like precious gems that are stupidly hard to find.
  9. They don’t get why we need gestures of affection. It’s like they just cannot grasp the fact that we are different than they are and need different things. There’s no need to analyze it — they should just do it. Whether they understand it or not, they should want to make us feel loved and appreciated. Once they know what makes us tick, they should be happy to give us whatever that is. The best men understand and do it, but all of them should at least do it regardless.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.