Here’s Why I Still Believe In Marriage Despite The Haters

As someone who got married at 21, I’m often asked why I wanted to make such a big commitment at such a young age—especially since more and more people view marriage as outdated, unnecessary, and even oppressive. While it seems odd to some, it’s the best decision I’ve ever made and I don’t regret it in the slightest. In fact, I tell anyone who’ll listen why I think marriage is still a beautiful and worthwhile tradition.

1. It’s the ultimate commitment. Yes, I know that commitment is sometimes a scary word but believe it or not, humans are actually wired for it. While bad experiences in past relationships may make you hesitant to actually decide to spend your life with one person, it’s also one of the most powerful and important decisions you’ll ever make.
2. You get to live life with your best friend. And who wouldn’t want that? I’ve been with husband for four years and I’d be lying if I said it’s been like living in some magical fairyland where nothing ever goes wrong. Things definitely go wrong from time to time but for me, nothing could beat this experience. I wake up next to my best friend every morning, fall asleep next to him every night, and we get to tackle life together day by day. It’s like a never-ending sleepover, and that’s pretty amazing.
3. You’re constantly evolving and improving yourself. Marriage isn’t the joining together of two people who are perfect and have their lives figured out 100 percent—it’s the coming together of two flawed people who have their issues but are committed to making it work anyway. While we need to love and extend grace to our flawed significant others and should never expect them to be perfect (they won’t be), marriage still gives us a perfect opportunity to improve ourselves daily in order to make this commitment work.
4. You get to experience true, everlasting love. Wow, things just got really cheesy and romcom-ish up in here. There have probably been times in the past when you’ve thought you were in love, only to discover that what you really felt was lust or boredom or insecurity or any number of other things. So how do you know when it’s real and it’s not? Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you’re always going to like them and that’s okay. If you can be mad as hell at your partner but still choose them at the end of every day, that’s love.
5. You have a lifelong supporter and friend (whether you like it or not). There’s this common misconception that we either have to pick career/education or marriage; that, somehow, getting married is signing a contract to give up your dreams and be a housewife for the rest of your life. Whether you’re finishing school, pursuing your career, working long hours, or dreaming of being a wife and a mother, your husband should be a constant support and encouragement (and vice-versa). That shouldn’t stop the moment you say “I do”—if anything, you won’t have to tackle those obstacles alone anymore.
6. You get to start your own family legacy. The union of marriage is a perfect opportunity to start something new and pass it down for generations. You can start new traditions, create/discover your family values and instill them in your children and grandchildren and watch the legacy unfold all because two people came together.
7. You gain a whole new family. Marriage is technically a union of two people but you can’t forget about the two families that are also joining together. I’m sure your own family is pretty cool, so why not add a whole new one to the mix? The more family the better, right?
8. You get to share the joys and burdens of life. You’re probably wondering why sharing makes marriage a great idea. While you do share the usual stuff, like belongings and car payments, there are more significant things that you’ll share as well. You’ll share your life, your home, your family, your friends, your lifestyle, life’s great moments and all the memories that come with it and the hard times too. These are the things worth sharing with the person you’re committed to spending your life with.
9. You’ll set a good example for those who are skeptical of marriage. You’ll have the opportunity to set a good example with your marriage to the people around you and the generations that come after you. People are always looking for someone to look up to or follow, especially in a world that’s broken by hurt, regret, loss, heartbreak and abandonment. Marriage isn’t always easy but it can still be that shining light in a culture that oftentimes wants to believe that love and marriage are dead.
10. You have someone who has to put up with your shenanigans and tell you your cooking is good. While I say this more in good fun, it IS nice to have someone who not only puts up with your shenanigan, but engages in them with you. The first few meals you make after getting married will most likely be not good, but you’ll have someone who will eat it anyway, tell you it’s great, and appreciate you all the more. And that alone makes it pretty worthwhile.