Why There’s No Shame In Being A Bitch

It’s rare that someone can gain knowledge from America’s Next Top Model — except, you know, learning how to smize, booch, and tooch. However, in Cycle 21, Tyra told Mirjana Puhar (whose recent death I’ll never get over, by the way) that she really should have taken control over a group challenge in which she was supposed to be a leader. Mirjana said that she didn’t want to be seen as bossy, since bossy can often be seen as bitchy. Tyra tried to get her out of this mindset by having her yell, “I’m not bossy, I’m a boss!”

Sure, it was cringeworthy, but Tyra made a good point. Women need to stop thinking that taking control of a situation, or a project, will make them look like bitches. Personally, I see the term as a way to try and shut down women. If you don’t believe me, think about all of the moments past where the phrase “You’re acting like such a bitch!” ended a fight, when your only crime was expressing your feelings. It’s an easy insult that’ll quickly stop us in our tracks. But it doesn’t have to be like that. In fact, it’s becoming more and more of a compliment. It describes someone who knows what they want, and won’t be submissive to the world around them.

It’s important that we take back this phrase, and realize that it actually  has a lot of positive attributes. I’m not talking about the “I’ll step on everyone until I get to the top” type of girl, but the “I’m not afraid to stand up for myself” kind. Here are a few reasons as to why the latter has such an importance in society.

  1. Bitches are fully aware of who they are and what they want. They’re strong, independent women who have learned not to cringe at the word “bitch.” They know that they can sometimes come across as rough, but they don’t apologize for their unique personality. Being self aware is an amazing character trait, and amazing boss bitches know that their special brand of charisma helped them get to where they are today.
  2. Bitches won’t let others stand in their way. If she wants something, she’ll lose sleep until it’s a reality. She’s a doer, and not a dreamer. Bitches are strong willed, hard workers, and will always reach for their personal goals, whether they’re in the office or at home.
  3. If you’re in a bad place, your “bitchy friend” will be the only one to tell it like it is. Not everyone likes hearing the truth. While some of your friends might tell you that you still have a chance with that jock dude who won’t return your texts, your bitch friend will see past the games and tell you that he’s just not that into you. Sure, it hurts — but it’s what you need to hear. Being a bitch means being completely honest. Plus, hey — she’ll end up saving you a ton of time in the long run.
  4. Emotions never completely rule a true bitch. Unfortunately, everyone is equipped with a shaky set of emotions. Sometimes our strong emotions can get the best of us, result in a month-long pity party. Bitches, however, view emotions as obstacles. Sure, a mean coworker might derail them for a moment or two, but they won’t necessarily throw them completely off course.
  5. Bitches prioritize themselves. With great work comes great rewards. After a promotion, or the completion of a successful project, a boss bitch will treat herself to a manicure, or pick up the bar tab for a bunch of her closest friends. They’re not afraid to take a week off after a busy project to go on a mini vacation, and know exactly how to reset themselves. They’re not afraid of being replaced based on a brief (and mentally important) absence, since their involvement in the company is crucial.
  6. Bitches challenge everyone around them. Real bitches are intimidating, and truly awaken the rest of their office. They seem to always have a gameplan, and know exactly what type of food everyone wants for lunch (thus, completely dismissing the “Does anyone want Starbucks? Do they have an online menu?” conversation that’s bound to happen.) Being completely on point makes everyone around her work even harder to keep up. The higher-ups love a girl who classifies as a bitch, because it means she’s determined to make a difference in the workplace. Think about it — people probably called her a bitch initially, since they wanted to divert both her progress and her voice. In turn, she proved how powerful “bitchiness” could be.
  7. Independent streaks are common in a bitch. She’s never afraid to see a movie alone. She’s not afraid of being alone, since she has more than enough on her plate already. She’s not afraid of spending her lunch break reading a book on her Kindle in the park, and actually enjoys the chance to regroup by doing something she, personally, loves doing. Spending her personal time running errands for the boss isn’t truly personal time, and she’s fully aware that she — just like everyone — is entitled to a little “me time.”
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.