There’s A Reason You Only Fall For Unavailable Guys—It’s Time To Break The Cycle

Whether you engage in an emotional or physical affair or your admiration is one-sided, falling for a guy who’s unavailable can be complicated, to say the least. While the object of your affection can serve as a blissful distraction for a while, it almost always ends in disaster. So why do you keep putting yourself in this situation?

These guys make you feel special.

When you engage in an affair,  you feel special, maybe even superior to his partner because he’s putting in the effort to see you and impress you rather than spending time with her. This sort of treatment can result in a high like no other. It’s truly intoxicating, meaning you’ll probably end up crashing if he decides to end things out of nowhere. Don’t get involved in this situation to start with.

You’re addicted to the thrill.

Let’s be honest, a secret affair can be exciting as hell. You get lost in the rules of when you can and can’t text or talk on the phone and when and where you can see each other without getting caught. You get creative with the secretiveness because you don’t want the euphoric feeling to end. Your judgment is clouded and things will likely spiral out of control sooner rather than later.

You enjoy the challenge.

There’s something to be said about pursuing someone who’s unavailable. It can fill a void that’s missing in your life and serve as a much-needed distraction from problems you may be going through. If you’re successful in seducing a guy who’s already taken, that’s a great ego stroke. You may even want to take it further to see if you can claim the ultimate prize, which is the guy himself. But if and when that happens, you may end up on the other side of the fence when he cheats on you too. Is it really worth it?

You’re afraid of real commitment.

There may be times you find yourself holding onto past relationship experiences that drown you in painful memories, making it difficult to let go. It’s hard to remain optimistic about finding deep, lasting love when you’ve been betrayed before and getting involved with a guy who’s committed to someone else is perceived as safe — you don’t expect them to leave their partner for you, nor do you want them to. However, while you think there’s no risk of being hurt here, you’d be surprised how painful the ending of these situations can actually be.

You’re perpetually lonely.

Being alone can be difficult, and if a cute guy flirts with you, it can be a welcome distraction even when you know they’re unavailable. Though innocent in some cases, flirting can lead to an affair, allowing you to escape from your isolation. Because loneliness is such a powerful feeling, we tend to let it overtake us at times, and it can lead to some pretty unsavory situation.

They’re convenient and less hassle than the dating scene.

Dating burnout is a thing and it sucks. Going on a lot of dates that lead nowhere leaves you feeling defeated and you may have given up on the idea of finding “The One.” When an opportunity to have a fling with a guy you get along with but who also happens to be in a relationship or doesn’t want a proper one comes along, you jump at the chance. It may be fairly easy, but this could become a hard habit to break.

You’re emotionally unavailable and only in it for the sex.

 You may not care that he’s in a relationship because for you, you’re in it solely for the physical gratification. There’s no deeper connection for you and you’re fine with that. Unfortunately, you could find yourself perpetually closed off to being vulnerable with a great guy. Examining your hang-ups can be truly frightening, but allowing yourself to do so can bring about the potential of forming a solid, fulfilling relationship.

You’re unhappy in your own relationship and see no problem with cheating.

There are times you can find yourself unfulfilled in your relationship, and when that happens, you wouldn’t mind being distracted a while for relief. This doesn’t necessarily mean you want to leave your partner, and you think there’s less risk in having an affair with someone who’s unavailable — there is the expectation that there are no expectations, so what could go wrong? A lot, unfortunately.

You’re a bit of a masochist.

Unrequited love. You thrive on the “if only” factor as you suffer in silence for the love of your life, who just so happens to be in love with their partner—a partner that isn’t you. It may sound odd, but pain can be a forceful presence that you actually crave. You can get caught up in fantasies that have a push-pull, up-down, tumultuous effect that are hard to snap out of. Drama can be exciting and agonizing, and you get off on that.

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