Why Women Who Don’t Need You Make The Best Girlfriends

They’re not cold and aloof, and they definitely don’t play hard to get. They’re smart, passionate, and independent AF. The truth of the matter is that they don’t need you, and that’s exactly why they’ll be the best girlfriends you’ll ever have.

  1. They have their own lives. While they love to spend time with you, they’re also more than happy to chill on their own or with their friends and family—that is when they’re not busy slaying their careers, pursuing their hobbies, and working on growing and evolving into even more badass version of themselves. In other words, they don’t want to be attached at the hip 24/7—they have their own lives and they’re going to keep living them regardless of whether or not they’re in a relationship.
  2. They support your dreams as much as their own. Women who don’t need a partner to be happy and fulfilled feel that way because they have full lives all on their own. They have big goals and dreams that they’re making strides towards achieving every day and they appreciate ambition when they see it. Whatever it is you want to accomplish in life, whether it’s getting a Masters degree or opening your own bakery in Paris, they’ll be behind you 100%.
  3. They’re happy to go with the flow. Because they don’t see a relationship as a necessity, there’s no intense pressure to push things forward in the relationship at warp speed. Sure, they want to grow with you and achieve relationship milestones in due course, but they’re not obsessing over what’s happening when. If you’re both happy with where you are, there’s no issue.
  4. They respect themselves and they expect you to respect them too. They’ve spent their whole lives cultivating a healthy sense of self-worth and self-respect, and they’re not about to sacrifice that for the sake of keeping a guy around. If you don’t respect them, you’re free to go. What’s sexier than a woman who not only refuses to be a doormat but actively demands the best?
  5. They don’t define themselves by their relationship status. They’d never hide your relationship and are proud to have you by their sides, but they don’t start every sentence with “we” and they are perfectly happy rolling solo to social and work events if you can’t make it. Their identity isn’t wrapped up in couplehood; they’re their own unique selves, not just such-and-such’s girlfriend, and that’s special.
  6. They’re passionate and truly love life. Because they lead such rich lives, they truly have a passion for the world around them and love to share that with the person they’re dating. They’re always up for trying something new and seeking adventure. After all, they do plenty of that when they’re single, so they expect their partners to be up for the same. In other words, your relationship will never be boring.
  7. They’re not just your partner, they’re your best friend. Because they don’t need you to be happy, they truly relish in taking the time the form a new connection with you not just as a romantic partner but as a friend. After all, relationships end but friendships, if cultivated and cared for, can last forever. If you do happen to break up in the future, chances are things will end on good terms (unless you screw them over, in which case you can get lost permanently).
  8. They don’t do jealousy or insecurity. They’ll be fine with or without you, which is why they don’t waste time on needless insecurity or jealousy about other women. They won’t freak out if you like another girl’s picture on Instagram or get paranoid about the girl at work whose name you mentioned twice this week. If you’re legitimately showing signs of being unfaithful or up to something shady, they’ll confront you directly. Otherwise, they don’t see the point in worrying.
  9. They don’t want or need you to fix them. Sure, they have issues—they’re human beings and they know they’re not perfect. However, they recognize and accept their flaws and shortcomings and are actively working to fix the ones they can. They don’t want or need you to step in and “save” them because they’re perfectly fine on their own. All they want is for you to be their partner, not their therapist.
  10. They’re with you because they want to be, not because they’re afraid to be alone. At the end of the day, you shouldn’t be offended that these women don’t need you. Isn’t it better that they’re with you because they truly want to be than because they feel like they have to be because they don’t know how to exist on their own? If you manage to capture their heart, hold onto it tight—it’s a real privilege.
Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill