Why You Need To Be A Good Kisser To Make A Relationship Work (& So Does He)

It’s a major movie moment: a guy walks a girl to her front door, they stare longingly into each other’s eyes, and he works up the courage to give her a sweet goodnight kiss. While life is definitely not like the movies, it’s no secret that we put a lot of stock in the first kiss that we share with someone. It may not take place in such a cliché setting – it’s probably more likely that you’re in the middle of a Netflix horror movie when he finally plants one on you – but it’s important all the same. We’ve all had some bad kisses in our time and some amazing ones. Here’s the truth: the guy that you call your boyfriend needs to be a good kisser, and you need to be the same. Period.

  1. Chemistry is 100 percent important. Have you heard the saying that a guy you never looked twice at before can become suddenly super good-looking once you get to know him? While that’s definitely true, since personality is just as important as looks (if not more, to be honest – a hot guy who’s a douchebag is still a douchebag), chemistry is an integral part of any relationship. When you make out with someone, you clearly have chemistry. You want to know that you’re physically attracted to this guy and that he feels the same way.
  2. The first kiss is the deepest. Okay, so that’s not how the Sheryl Crow song goes. But if you’re not getting all hot and heavy in the early days, it’s pretty rare that your relationship will suddenly have that spark when it’s been five or ten years. It’s a safe bet that if you have passion in the beginning, you can weather any storms and keep it going. It’s worth waiting for someone who makes your toes curl instead of settling for that perfect-on-paper match.
  3. Kissing is like yoga. So it may not involve a bunch of planks and lunges. But it does have some mind/body aspects and will calm you down and force you to take stock of where you are and what you’re doing.
  4. It’s weird if couples don’t kiss. Let’s just be real here. You might even become less attracted to your otherwise wonderful BF if you guys never make out. I’m not sure if that’s actually true but it sounds right to me. You’ll wonder if you even feel that fire for him anymore or if it’s gone. Do you want a platonic friend or do you want a romantic partner?
  5. Sometimes you want to be a teenager again. And teenagers make out. A lot. Usually in movie theaters. You can do the same in a 2015-way in front of a Netflix marathon of Friends. Life in your 20s and 20s is full of boring stuff like bills and groceries that you never even thought about back in high school. Return to a simpler time.
  6. Your bond will be stronger. Kissing your significant other (and not a see-you-later peck on the lips – lame) will make you feel much closer to them, which is always good since we all have lives and jobs and can’t spend every single moment together. Being an adult is so annoying sometimes. We should kiss all the time instead.
  7. You want those first kiss butterflies. Your stomach is hurting but you’re not hungry or actually in any pain. You both know what you want but neither of you wants to be super obvious about it yet. Ah, the trials and tribulations of those awkward moments before a first kiss, also known as butterflies in your stomach. Why would you want to start a relationship without that? A first kiss is a major milestone and just as important as the first sleepover or when you meet each other’s friends.
  8. Practice makes perfect. So the sparks are flying and then that first kiss is just… lukewarm. No problem. You can just try again (and again, and again). Tons of couples had less than awesome first kisses and yet they’re still in love months or years later. As long as you’re both into each other, you can make it work.
  9. You both deserve it. Everyone deserves a caring, compassionate, fun and funny partner who knows how to kiss. It’s just the truth. Don’t settle for any less.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.