Here’s Why You Should Hold Out For A Great Love Instead Of Settling For A Mediocre One

Not all love is the same. Some relationships that claim to be filled with love actually just consist of two people who thought it might be time to settle for less than they want or deserve. You’re so much better than that, which is why you should hold out for a great love.

  1. You shouldn’t stand in the way of your own happiness. You can’t have an amazing love if you stick with a mediocre man. How are you supposed to meet your forever person, the person who makes you happy, if you’re filling up your house and life with an average Joe? You’re blocking your own opportunities for relationship satisfaction.
  2. You need to max out your pleasure. Imagine that life has given you a pleasure credit card. You can limit your use of it or you can max it out, and you should always go with the latter. Life is way too short to stick to dating people and doing activities that don’t bring you joy. A great love will bring you some of that joy, though you obviously create most of it. Why wouldn’t you want that? Too many people are staying in horrible relationships that they don’t even really want.
  3. He really is out there. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. It’s so tough to find a guy who’s a good person and who ticks all your boxes, but there are opportunities for love everywhere you look. The guy might not look like Aquaman, but when it comes to having the long-term qualities you want in a man that really matter, he is out there. It would be a shame not to meet him because you’re too busy settling with other guys.
  4. You don’t have to choose out of fear. Often, people let go of the idea of finding a great love because they think they’re running out of time. Their forever person hasn’t rocked up and they’re almost 30, so it’s time to buckle down and get with the first interested guy who comes along. Hell no. The great love isn’t the same thing as a fairytale love. It’s not about a perfect love, it’s about finding a relationship that does you justice and brings you more of what you want so you don’t have to settle for less.
  5. You know you’re worth happiness. You won’t be happy if you settle for a mediocre relationship. You’ll feel angry, resentful, or just plain miserable. You’ll also keep thinking, “What if?” For example, “What if I met some other guy/my forever person/someone who satisfied me in every way?” By avoiding mediocre relationships, you can focus on your worth. When you know your worth, you know you deserve to be happy. Not settling means no FOMO!
  6. You don’t date out of your league. You should be with someone who matches you, someone who feels like your kindred spirit. This isn’t about looks or status, but about where you’re at mentally and emotionally. That’s the dating league that really matters. By finding a person who’s on the same page, you’re ensured of having much greater intimacy and a stronger connection with them. Without that, you could end up in a lackluster, frustrating, or simply unsatisfying relationship. Who needs that?
  7. You reduce your relationship anxiety. Everyone feels fear when it comes to love and commitment, even when you find your forever person. However, focusing on your great love instead of just an OK one means you can greatly reduce that fear. You don’t have to worry about trusting the person or being treated badly and you don’t break out in a sweat at the thought of being with them in the long term. You know you want to be with them, no matter what, and they share the sentiment. That’s how love should be.
  8. You don’t get into bad relationships. If you lower your standards, you can let in loads of toxic partners that just bring you down. When you keep those standards up, you essentially teach people that they have to step up if they want to date you. This is so important because it means you lower your risk of getting into horrible relationships that bring no value to your life. If the relationship isn’t worth being in, you’d rather give it a miss.
  9. You don’t feel the pressure to find someone. When you decide to have a “great love or nothing” mindset, you avoid the pressure to find someone. Just because other people are settling down, it doesn’t mean that you have to. In fact, maybe you don’t want to, and that could have nothing to do with finding a great love. Maybe you’re just happier single. When the relationship pressure is off, it’s amazing how you can find out what you really want.
  10. You deserve it. Why should you wait for a Great Love? Simple—because you deserve it. You really don’t need another reason.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.