Why You Should Just Split Up Instead Of “Taking A Break”

Why You Should Just Split Up Instead Of “Taking A Break” ©iStock/fotostorm

Taking a break in a relationship is one of those grey areas that occurs when two people just can’t see eye to eye with the state of their relationship. The problem is that since it’s a grey area, there aren’t any set rules. This just opens up the potential for more drama, which is probably what you’re trying to get away from, anyway. Here are some reasons that you should just break up altogether and save yourself more pain and wasted time.

  1. You can always get back together. Breaking up doesn’t necessarily mean the total end of the road, but it does bring in a sense of finality that can make it more clear whether you want that or not.
  2. No one knows what’s considered cheating or not. A break means you’re sort of not with him but you’re also planning on being back with him… so what happens in the mean time? If you can’t see other people, then you’re not really on a break at all.
  3. You’ll grow apart. If you’re trying to save a relationship, getting away from each other probably isn’t the way to do it. You’ll start to have different experiences that can drive a wedge between what you had.
  4. It means you probably aren’t happy together. In healthy relationships, we’re happier to be in them than to not be, so if neither of you is happy enough to completely stay, your relationship might already be going down the drain.
  5. It’s a tease. Many people ask for a break because they don’t have the balls to be honest and straight up dump their significant other. That’s just stringing the other person along and it isn’t the path of least resistance.
  6. Most people aren’t mature enough to be fair. If you’re on a break, you’re sort of still together which means that pretty much anything is free reign for making up things to fight about. If you’re on a break, does he still have to go with you to your cousin’s wedding or no?
  7. It’s the opposite of commitment. The only difference between casual dating and a relationship is the commitment, so once that’s out the window you’re basically going backwards and hanging out in limbo.
  8. It’s a Band-Aid, not a cure. Far too often, breaks come at what would normally be a healthy crossroads if any communicating was getting done. Instead it’s sort of a way to step back without having to commit to either route.
  9. You can still have time apart without taking a break. If it’s space that one of you needs, then don’t hang out for a week so you can get your mind right. You don’t have to label it something dramatic and make it more complicated than it needs to be.
  10. You deserve better. If someone isn’t sure that they want to be with you then they better get to stepping out the door before they waste any more of your time.
  11. You know better. If it’s you requesting the break, think about where the urge is really coming from. Cute new guy at the office have anything to do with it?
  12. It takes two to solve a relationship issue. If you’re not trying to break up, then you need both of your heads in the game to compromise on whatever issue you’re dealing with, not space.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com