Why You Should Never Take A Cheater Back No Matter How Tempting It Is

Things were going so well and you were totally in love. Then your boyfriend made a stupid move. He cheated on you and he’s apologized, like, a million times. He swears it’ll never happen again and that you’re the only one he wants and he begs you to give him another chacne. I hate to break it to you, but it’s not good enough. Here’s why you should never take a cheater back no matter how tempting it is.

  1. He seriously messed up. Yeah, he knows this and he keeps saying he’s so sorry, but isn’t once enough? If a guy slapped you across the face, would you take him back just because he said sorry afterward? Hell no. So why should you be lax about letting him walk over you and breaking your heart?
  2. He could do it again. A weird thing happens when someone crosses a line and doesn’t get punished for it. They get the idea that they can do it again and get away with it. If he got away with cheating on you once, you never know, he might think that he can try his luck again in the future.
  3. He could still be with her. He told you it’s so over with whoever he slept with, but can you really trust him? You’ll be making yourself sick over how he cheated on you and if he’s still seeing her. Let’s be real. “It didn’t mean anything” is usually complete and utter BS. Sex always means something.
  4. It could signal the end of your relationship. You might think that sex was just sex, but it isn’t ever just sex. Besides, even if he truly doesn’t want to be with what’s-her-face again, it doesn’t mean that everything’s hunky-dory now. The guy cheated because there’s something wrong. Yeah, there’s something wrong with him, but there’s also something wrong in your relationship. Cheating is just a symptom of that. Do you really want to stay in a sinking ship? I didn’t think so.
  5. You’ll never be able to trust him. Okay, maybe you will be able to push this cheating incident (or five) out of your mind, but let’s be real about this: it’s not going to be easy because he’s planted a seed of doubt in your mind. The next time he tells you he’s going away on a boys-only weekend, you’re going to think he’s actually hooking up with someone else. The next time he says he’s just platonic with his best female friend, a little voice in your head is going to wonder, “Is that really true?”
  6. Your confidence will be dented. Sometimes what happens after a guy cheats on you is worse than the actual cheating because of how it opens up so many other issues. You might feel anxious, insecure, and take a knock to your confidence. You don’t need to go on that journey because it’s a one-way trip to hell.
  7. You can do better. Linked to the above point is how you know in your heart of hearts that you deserve better than this crap he’s put you through. You know that a guy who truly loves you isn’t going to cheat, no matter how many tequilas he drank or how stressed he’s been at work (what a joke). It’s this inner voice that will haunt you after he’s cheated on you, making you feel like you’re just settling for much less than what you deserve. And that’s hell too.
  8. You’ll feel guilty. You’ll probably feel drenched in self-guilt for taking him back because you know that you can do better. Um, talk about punishment and yet you’re not the one who should be beating herself up in this situation!
  9. You’ll always feel like he’s second-hand goods. The thing about cheating is that you might be able to forgive him but you won’t ever forget. Your mind just won’t let you! That means, every time he’s romantic with you or touches you or kisses you, you’re going to think, “Did he do this with her?” Every time he tries new things in the bedroom, you’re going to wonder if she’s the reason for his slick new moves. It’s horrible, but he’ll always be tainted by her.
  10. You’ll stress yourself to the max. You know what? Even if the guy never steps out of line again and treats you like a queen, you’re never going to feel at peace in this relationship. You’ll be insecure and worried all the time. You might even resent him, which means you’ll be adding drama to your relationship. You simply won’t be able to be happy again, which is a waste of your precious time.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.