Why You Should Relax & Go With The Flow In A New Relationship

It can be tempting to label new relationships quickly, since they’re hard enough to figure out on the best of days. But the tendency to make it official, unofficial, or whatever other labels there are can often come from the wrong places… and take the relationship out real quick. Here are some reasons why you don’t need to label it too fast, and instead you should relax and just go with the flow.

  1. You don’t need to lock him down. Making him your boyfriend so he can’t be anyone else’s boyfriend is sort of noble in theory, but he should want in, not be forced, coerced, or blackmailed to do it. Hey, not everyone plays fair out there.
  2. Having a “boyfriend” doesn’t prove you won’t die alone. The holidays are coming up, and naturally your family has questions. Don’t rush love to give them an obvious looking answer that might be false.
  3. Guys freak the hell out. So do girls. Okay, some people love being rushed into relationships (maybe?) but most people prefer the natural flow type vibe. You don’t want to chase a good one away over timing.
  4. Behavior determines the happiness, not the label. The label-free dating stage might be filled with romance and monogamy, while the locked down dude might be a total meany. It’s not the label.
  5. It creates unnecessary pressure. The faster you label, the closer you are to the next step in the relationship (whatever that might be), which makes people get to thinking. Thinking too much.
  6. Boyfriends cheat. Not all of them, of course, but technically the only people out there cheating are the ones in labeled relationships, so don’t assume a label cleanses one of their unfaithful nature.
  7. You don’t even know that dude. Let’s be honest, our first impressions of people can be completely different from what we think of them later down the road. Give it a second so you can see what you’re working with and don’t accidentally end up with a mad one that will annoy you long after breakup.
  8. There’s no expiration date. Sure, you might not want to be in a casual relationship or the dating stage for seven years, but seven months isn’t unheard of.
  9. You deserve some time to quietly flip flop. Relationships are weird enough at the beginning. If you don’t rush the label, you won’t panic and accidentally blurt out that you guys made a mistake, and then try to take it back. Ugh.
  10. There are two people in a relationship. That magic concept of compromise means both people have opinions that need to be honored, and when they can’t, meeting in the middle is a must.
  11. You should be having so much fun that you don’t even notice. The ‘getting to know each other’ phase can be the absolute best part, where you don’t even notice how close you’re getting because you’re having so much fun doing it.
  12. You’re a damn catch. There shouldn’t be urgency going in that can be mistaken for desperation, because girl all the boys should want you anyway. Or at least more than one of them.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com