Why You Should Stop Comparing Yourself To Other People

We’ve all been there – scrolling through social media, seeing picture-perfect lives, and feeling a pang of envy. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others, but it’s a habit that rarely leads to anything positive. So, why should you stop measuring yourself against others? Let’s explore some compelling reasons why breaking free from this comparison game can lead to a happier and more fulfilling life.

1. It steals your joy.

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When you constantly compare yourself to others, you focus on what you lack rather than appreciating what you have. This can lead to a sense of dissatisfaction and unhappiness, preventing you from enjoying the present moment and all the good things in your life. Remember, everyone’s journey is unique, and your happiness shouldn’t depend on how you stack up against someone else.

2. It’s based on an incomplete picture.

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Social media often presents a carefully curated highlight reel of people’s lives. You only see the best moments, the successes, and the carefully edited photos. You don’t see the struggles, the setbacks, or the ordinary days. Comparing yourself to this unrealistic image can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

3. It hinders your personal growth.

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Instead of focusing on your own goals and aspirations, comparing yourself to others can lead to a competitive mindset. You might start chasing after things that don’t truly matter to you, just to keep up with the Joneses. This can distract you from your own path and hinder your personal growth.

4. It breeds negativity.

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According to Forbes, comparison often leads to feelings of envy, resentment, and insecurity. These negative emotions can poison your relationships, your self-esteem, and your overall well-being. It’s much healthier to focus on your own journey and to celebrate the successes of others without letting it diminish your own worth.

5. It’s a never-ending cycle.

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There will always be someone who seems to have more, do more, or be more. If you constantly compare yourself to others, you’ll always find someone who appears to be “better” than you in some way. This can lead to a never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction and a feeling that you’re never good enough.

6. It’s not a fair comparison.

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Everyone has different strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and challenges. Comparing yourself to someone who has had a completely different life experience or set of circumstances is like comparing apples to oranges. It’s simply not a fair or accurate assessment.

7. It distracts you from your own unique path.

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You have your own unique talents, passions, and purpose. Comparing yourself to others can take you away from focusing on what truly matters to you. Instead of trying to fit into someone else’s mold, embrace your individuality and pursue your own path with confidence.

8. It can lead to unrealistic expectations.

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When you constantly compare yourself to others, you might start setting unrealistic expectations for yourself. You might believe that you need to achieve the same level of success, happiness, or beauty as someone else in order to be worthy. This can lead to feelings of disappointment and frustration when you inevitably fall short of these unattainable standards.

9. It undermines your self-worth.

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When you measure your worth by comparing yourself to others, you’re essentially handing over your self-esteem to external factors. Your value isn’t determined by how you compare to someone else, but by your own unique qualities, strengths, and accomplishments.

10. It prevents you from celebrating your own achievements.

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When you’re constantly focused on what others have achieved, you might overlook or downplay your own successes. Remember, your accomplishments are worthy of celebration, regardless of how they compare to someone else’s.

11. It can fuel perfectionism.

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The comparison game often leads to a relentless pursuit of perfection, Psychology Today reveals. You might feel like you need to be the best at everything in order to measure up. This can create unnecessary stress and pressure, and prevent you from enjoying the journey.

12. It can harm your relationships.

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Constantly comparing yourself to your friends, family, or partner can create tension and resentment in your relationships. It’s important to celebrate each other’s successes without letting comparison overshadow the connection.

13. It can lead to a lack of gratitude.

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When you focus on what you lack, you might forget to appreciate all the good things in your life. Practicing gratitude can help you shift your focus from comparison to contentment, and cultivate a more positive outlook on life.

14. It can hold you back from taking risks.

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If you’re always comparing yourself to others, you might be afraid to step outside your comfort zone or take risks. You might worry about failing or not being as successful as someone else. Remember, everyone starts somewhere, and the only way to grow is to embrace challenges and learn from your mistakes.

Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.