Why You Shouldn’t Be So Judgmental About Other People’s Lives

Why You Shouldn’t Be So Judgmental About Other People’s Lives ©iStock/teksomolika

The one thing we really suck at as women is not being judgmental about each other’s lives. We just can’t seem to keep ourselves from doing it, which is really not cool — don’t we get enough of that BS from men? We don’t have to all get along and like one another, but aside from being petty, all the judgment we pass only encourages guys to do it more. It’s time to stop having so much to say about how other women live their lives — here’s why:

  1. When did you become the fashion police? Does it really matter if her bag is from last season and her shoes aren’t designer? Um, no, it doesn’t.
  2. You never know what’s going on in another person’s life. If you’re judging someone you know, keep in mind that as well as you know them, you don’t know it all. She could be dealing with something that you can’t even begin to understand.
  3. You don’t know her at all! Judging a stranger is even worse! That girl at the bar you’ve never met before, the one drunkenly hanging all over that guy… you don’t know anything about her! Try being more concerned with your own alcohol intake than how badly she’s handling hers.
  4. It’s really unattractive. Guys are less than impressed when we endlessly judge each other. We’re far too intelligent to waste our conversations and time judging other women for their choices. Find something positive to say instead, and you’ll automatically boost yourself on the attractive scale.
  5. It makes you sound insecure. When you judge someone, you sound insecure, as if you secretly worry she might be better than you. The only person you need to be better than is the version of you that is being judgey right now. You may not mean to sound like you’re comparing, but that’s how it always comes out.
  6. People will stop hanging out with you. If all you do is judge other people and talk about them, the people who aren’t doing that will get tired of hanging out with you. It’s so not worth losing your friends over. 
  7. It can impact how you look at yourself. When all you do is judge, you start to judge yourself more frequently, too, and hold yourself to impossible standards. We’re already too self-critical — we don’t need to make it worse. If you stop judging other people, you’ll also make it easier on yourself.
  8. It opens the door for men to treat women like crap. When all we do is judge one another and talk crap, it makes it seem like it’s OK for guys to do it, too. The more we do it, the more they will, so just stop the madness.
  9. It’s a waste of time. Why are you so worried about what she’s got going on, anyway? You being judgey isn’t going to change what she’s doing, so what are you getting out of it, exactly?
  10. It’s none of your business. So stop trying to make it your business. Our parents were right when they told us to mind our own business and to only worry about ourselves.
C. is an aspiring yogi and Ph.D student who loves her dogs, bright lipstick and to travel. Find her on IG @drparko121314