Why You Shouldn’t Care What Anyone Thinks

Why You Shouldn’t Care What Anyone Thinks ©iStock/Rohappy

We’ve all been judged for something, whether it was day drinking, being just a tad too loud at a club, or dating that guy who everyone thought was a loser. We also judge other people too on random things like how they dress, what music they listen to, or what kind of parenting they do. It’s not necessarily a great quality, but it happens, and it shouldn’t really have an effect on how you live your life.

  1. If it’s not going to impact your life, why does it matter? Rarely does anything negative people have to say about you or your choices have anything to do with your life in the long run, so it seriously shouldn’t matter at all.
  2. If someone’s talking crap, it’s not about you, it’s about them. People usually judge others as a way to feel better about themselves. The number of people who hate on others just because of how bad their lives turned out is massive. This means that chances are that the reason they’re judging you has little to do with you, and more to do with their own inadequacies.
  3. Everyone judges everyone else. It’s human nature — it’s not like we can help it. To a point, being judgmental can be a self-preservation issue, as well. It’s generally harmless as long as we realize our own prejudices and don’t let them cloud our actions.
  4. No one really knows your life. Obviously, some things are inexcusable, but for the most part, people would be a lot more understanding of others if they knew the full story. It’s not your job to explain it all to them, but you can comfort yourself knowing that they probably wouldn’t be so mean if they walked a mile in your shoes.
  5. You can’t please everyone. In other words, don’t try to be everything to everyone. It’s not possible. In fact, being a people-pleaser is inherently toxic to your self-esteem and your ability to function. The truth of the matter is that some people, no matter what you do, will hate you. Don’t try to fix it. Instead, focus on people who like you.
  6. You have to live with your choices, not them. They aren’t you. They don’t know what makes you happy, and they aren’t the ones who are living your life — you are. They can huff and puff about you doing things they don’t like, but at the end of the day, it’s you who is going to live with it. If you’re doing what you love to do, then who cares what they think? Let them be miserable at the fact that you’re owning your life.
  7. You have better things to do than get caught up in drama. Judgy people, particularly those that are loud about what they think of others, love to stir up drama. When people act like they’re better than you, that’s what they’re doing: bringing up drama.  You are better than that, and you have better things to do.
  8. The only way to win is not to play the game. People are going to judge you. They’re going to hate on you, comment on you, and gossip. This isn’t going to change. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to try to win them over or make things better. The best way to enjoy life without this crap is to just not play the game they want you to play and keep doing you.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.