Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Forgive The Guy Who Ghosted You

Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Forgive The Guy Who Ghosted You ©iStock/portishead1

I don’t think ghosting should ever be acceptable. It’s basically the cowardly way of letting someone know that you’re not interested. It means that instead of facing the awkward “it’s not you, it’s me” conversation, they get to avoid it altogether by doing a disppearing act. If the guy who ghosted on you re-enters your life, here’s why you should think twice about forgiving him.

  1. He wouldn’t have ghosted on you if he was that interested. Even if he was really busy with work or other commitments, it takes a few seconds to send a text and let you know what’s happening. So what’s his excuse? He doesn’t have one.
  2. He probably just got out of a relationship. It’s likely that the only reason he’s got back in touch is that he’s just broken up with his girlfriend (or got dumped) and now he’s looking for a replacement. Or, maybe he’s not interested in dating someone new. Either way, he’s lonely and bored—texting is the perfect cure for both. Don’t take his reappearance as a sign that he’s really into you, as it could literally mean nothing to him.
  3. He’s keeping you around as a backup. The worst-case scenario is that he stopped talking to you and found someone else, but just in case it doesn’t work out between them, he wants to keep you around as his Plan B. It’s absolutely disgusting and you shouldn’t give him even a second of your time.
  4. He wants to know that you haven’t moved on. There’s nothing more selfish than someone who doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you but doesn’t want you to move on and find someone who can give you what you want. Perhaps he’s not even hoping for a second chance. Maybe the reason he’s contacting you is that he wants you to say that you miss him, not because he misses you too but because he needs you to stroke his ego. He wants attention but that doesn’t mean he should get any of yours.
  5. He has to show you that he feels bad about how he treated you. It’s not enough to simply send a one-word message and expect that to be enough to win you over. If he messages you “hey” instead of a heartfelt apology or explanation, then it shows that he doesn’t care about you as much as you thought.
  6. He didn’t want anything serious. As soon as it seemed like things were getting serious, he bolted. He probably has a ton of excuses: he’s scared of getting hurt, his ex-girlfriend broke his heart, he’s just not ready for a relationship right now. In the end, none of it matters. If he couldn’t be honest with you, then he doesn’t deserve another chance. He’s a time-waster!
  7. He’s just being nosey. If he starts asking you about your dating life out of nowhere, then it’s pretty clear what his intentions are. He doesn’t want to know if you’re okay—he just wants to know if you’re still available and if he’s still in with a shot. It’s down to you to let him know that he’s lost his chance.
  8. He messaged you out of guilt. There’s a chance that he feels guilty about his disappearing act and this is his way of trying to clear his conscience. But that doesn’t excuse what he did and it doesn’t mean that he deserves your forgiveness either.
  9. He knew that he didn’t want you but he strung you along anyway. At the time, he wasn’t looking for anything serious with you and that’s why he ghosted. If he did want a relationship, he wouldn’t have risked the possibility of losing you to someone else. He would have shown you how he felt. Instead, he ran away like the coward that he is and left you wondering what the hell happened.
  10. He’ll probably ghost on you again. Once a ghoster, always a ghoster. It’s hard to open up to someone and get close to them when you’re constantly worrying if they’ll be sticking around. And if he makes you feel uncertain, then you’ll never feel 100 percent comfortable around him. That’s not what you want.
  11. He wants you now that he can’t have you. Maybe he left because he thought the grass was greener and now he’s realized that he made a huge mistake. Or, maybe he hates the thought of you finding someone who knows how to treat you right. Either way, he should have appreciated a good thing when he had it. Now he’s lost you and he can only blame himself for it.
  12. He’s not worth keeping around. A decent guy wouldn’t leave you in the dark – he would offer some kind of explanation. Letting someone know where they stand, even if it’s not what they wanted to hear, is the kindest thing to do. The way he decided to leave says more about the kind of person he is. He’s a coward who simply doesn’t have any respect for you, so tell him where to go!
Coralle is a freelance writer and blogger with a special interest in Mental Health & wellness, Women's health, and relationships.

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