Why You Still Feel Connected To Your Ex Even Though It’s Over


Your relationship ended weeks or even months ago but for some reason, your ex is still on your mind and in your heart. You would have thought you’d have moved on by now – and all your friends and family think the same – but you haven’t. Here’s why you still feel so connected to your ex even though they’re no longer in your life.

  1. You have a lot of shared memories. If you were together for a long time, chances are you’ve shared many experiences and created many memories together that can’t (and shouldn’t) be easily forgotten. You may even have gone through major life changes during your relationship, such as births, deaths, moves, etc. It makes sense that you’d still feel connected to your ex given that they’re so entwined with much of who you are.
  2. Your connection was deeper than in other past relationships. You’ve probably had other partners in the past but all of them seem to pale in comparison to this particular ex. That could be because your relationship was much more serious or lasted much longer, or it could have been that you truly connected on a soul level but it didn’t work out. When you lose someone you consider a soulmate, it’s only natural that you’d feel pangs for them even after you part.
  3. You didn’t really want to break up in the first place. If the breakup wasn’t your idea and was out of your control, you may be holding onto your relationship with your ex because you have unresolved feelings for them. If you weren’t ready to let go of your ex, you’re going to feel connected to them because you haven’t truly cut the cord. Maybe you’re hoping for a reunion in the future or were simply blindsided by being dumped. Whatever it is, your feelings are more than understandable.
  4. You haven’t started the healing process. After a breakup, it’s important in the immediate to separate yourself entirely from them if you want any chance of moving forward. If you’re still following all their social media accounts, have their stuff hanging out all over your apartment, and are still texting them regularly, you haven’t started to process the relationship so that you can heal.
  5. You still love them. At the end of the day, the most obvious reason you still feel connected to your ex is that you still love them. You want to be with them and resume your relationship because you believe that you belong together. Whether or not that’s the case or you’re kidding yourself isn’t for me to say, but it is important to do some soul searching so you can find some resolution either way.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia