Why You Still Need Alone Time When You’re in a Relationship

For some people hearing the words “I need some space” are enough to send them into a tailspin but for others making room for alone time is just a way of being. Here are some reasons why everyone needs a little alone time in a relationship no matter how awesome things are going.

  1. So you can eat whatever you want. You guys are pretty good at compromising on where to order take-out from, but sometimes there’s just nothing like making a full meal out of tortilla chips and dip, and he doesn’t necessarily need to be there to witness you picking crumbs out of your boobs.
  2. So you don’t lose yourself. In all seriousness, sometimes it’s hard to keep perspective when you’re thinking for two. Alone time is crucial to process things and to continuously evaluate the directions that your life is headed in the short term and in the long term.
  3. So you can handle your business. Depending on what stage you’re at in a relationship, you may or not be totally open about your financial history or how much you own on your student loans. Instead of trying to be stealthy about hiding your paychecks or not paying your parking tickets altogether, give yourself the time to get organized in the safety of your own home or office.
  4. So you can really girl talk. Texting is one thing, but if you don’t have any time away from your man, it’s going to be hard to really get into the nitty gritty bestie gab fests over the phone. It’s not that you’re keeping secrets from him exactly, but he’s just never going to understand the thrill of an intense stalking session on Instagram and why it’s important to discuss weird connections that don’t actually mean anything to your life.
  5. So you can get creative. Some research has shown that people need a little solitude in their lives to sink into deep thought… which is hard to do when there is always someone else around to talk to. Letting yourself go into deep thought can also increase your productivity and properly problem solve.
  6. So you can blast that music he hates. Yeah it’s cute (and gentlemanly) when he plays chauffeur for you, but every girl needs some alone time to listen to horrible pop music in the car loudly and without judgment. It just isn’t the same when you’re vibing and someone is rolling their eyes at your Britney impression.
  7. So you can cultivate your other relationships. It’s so much fun when you like your boyfriend’s friends and can pal around with the crew, but it’s also fine to have friendships that aren’t necessarily a part of the couple. When you take some time out alone you start to realize who else you might be missing are overdue for some quality time.
  8. Because one of you is an introvert. We all fall somewhere on the scale between being an introvert or an extrovert, but those subtle differences can mean we need different things to recharge us. Straight extroverts get all their energy from being around other people and feel isolated with alone time, while introverts need to be alone to center and can start to feel drained when they spend too much time with others. It’s all about the balance.
  9. So you can hog the bathroom.  You’ve really worked on your efficiency since the two of you started getting ready for work at the same time, but don’t forget to carve out some time to just dawdle and do weird things in there. How else are you supposed to snap pics of your naked self in weird positions and decide what sort of fitness regime you need to start on next.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com