As a disclaimer, I should mention that I don’t hate men, nor do I think that all of them are actively contributing to a culture of toxic masculinity and misogyny. I do, however, get annoyed at dudes who lack the self-awareness to realize that some of their behavior may be problematic. The latest subject of my ire? The wife guy. Prepare to hear about yet another case of people being THE WORST.
- So, what is a “wife guy” anyway? According to the New York Times, the wife guy is a dude who defines himself by the fact that he’s a husband/married to a woman. While marriage is important and it’s great when a guy is devoted to his spouse, the wife guy takes this to a whole new obnoxious level because he’s being disingenuous.
- Wife guys use their wives to make themselves look good. Take Robbie Tripp, an Instagrammer who likes to post photos of his wife with what seem like loving commentary. Take this post, for instance, in which he opines about how great it is to love a woman with a “curvy body.” Just skimming, you might think how great it is that there’s a guy who knows love is more than skin deep. If you really think about it, though, it becomes clear that he’s using his wife to pat himself on the back for being ~evolved~ enough to love a woman whose body doesn’t necessarily subscribe to society’s expectations. Way to go, bro. He’s even made a music video for an original (God help us all) song called “Chubby Sexy” which features his wife dancing mutely in the background while he tries to make himself into a novelty star. Yikes.
- Wife guys want street cred even if they’re going about it in a weird way. While being an out and out douchebag online isn’t likely to get you positive attention, if you’re desperate to go viral and become an internet star, you might suddenly start subscribing to the ideals of modern feminism (at least on the surface) to get you there. The wife guy bases his online (and possibly his offline) identity on the fact that he’s in a relationship and he’s a GREAT partner (or so he wants you to think). This bogus persona is one of the weirdest, most uncomfortable things to witness but there are plenty of guys guilty of it and it’s gross.
- No one’s saying you can’t mention your relationship, but there are limits… If you’re in a relationship, you’re bound to mention your partner or even post pictures of yourself with them from time to time. During the honeymoon phase, it’s even normal to write mushy captions about how lucky you are to have found someone so wonderful. The different with wife guys is that it becomes so compulsive as to seem tacky and downright fake. The emotion implied in a heartfelt message is all but gone because the relentless declarations of love just become hollow. But who cares, as long as the wife guy is getting clicks and likes?
- Wife guys think they’re special for eschewing the player lifestyle. The whole point of the wife dude is that he expects to be patted on the back for the totally normal occurrence of being married. Because so many men remain eternal bachelors, the wife guy wants notoriety for actually committing to a woman and considers it an accomplishment worthy of praise and even influencer branding money. In other words, he’s the worst.