So you’ve been going out with this guy for a while now but you’re not quite sure if he’s planning to get serious with you. You don’t want to rush him and ruin things, but at the same time, you also don’t want to waste time with a relationship that isn’t going anywhere. Lucky for you, there are signs you can watch out for to know if he is hellbent on being a bachelor for life.
He doesn’t want to label things.
Is he reluctant to call you his girlfriend? Did you only become official because you forced him to make it so, or can you tell that he’s trying to keep the relationship from progressing? All these are signs that he doesn’t want to commit. When a guy really likes you, he’s going to want to make sure he doesn’t lose you, and that means locking you down as quickly as possible.
He avoids having conversations about the future.
I’m not even talking about big steps like when you get to meet each other’s parents. Simply avoiding making plans more than a few days in advance is a dead giveaway. You might also notice that every time you talk about the future, he becomes a flight risk or comedian of the year. A guy who intends to commit will be excited to talk about all the things you have to look forward to as a couple.
His life isn’t where he wants it to be.
Let’s face it, if his life feels like it’s flopping around, there’s a good chance he won’t be able to accommodate a serious relationship anytime soon. Men like to feel like they have something to offer. If he doesn’t have it together with his job or career or general life direction, commitment is probably not a top priority for him.
He’s never fully comfortable around you.
Intimacy is what makes a relationship. The ability to trust your partner and allow yourself to be vulnerable with them is what deepens a relationship and makes it more than just another hookup. If he never lets down his guard around you and can’t seem to just be himself, that’s a huge warning sign.
He’s reluctant about opening up to you.
A guy who wants a serious relationship with you is going to invite you into his personal and emotional space. He’ll share parts of himself with you that only friends and family get to see. He’ll let you into his feelings. He’ll want you to feel comfortable in his home as if it were your own.
He downplays the relationship around friends and family.
Relationships are not just about the two of you sharing your lives together. It also involves sharing the people who mean the world to you. An eternal bachelor would be reluctant to introduce you to his family and friends. And if he ever does, he’s going to make it seem like you and the relationship are not that serious or important. That’s a major red flag you don’t want to ignore.
His actions leave you in a permanent state of doubt.
A guy who is serious about you and wants to be with you is going to make you feel wanted emotionally and physically. You’ll never have to wonder why he’s taking so long to text back or hasn’t called or why he’s always bailing on plans that you make. If a guy plans to commit to you, you’ll not have to badger him into showing affection or giving you intention, he’ll be eager to do it, to show you how badly he wants you.
He is all about being the life of the party.
Almost all his friends are single and addicted to partying and just living on the wild side of life, and that’s really his thing too. He might try to tone it down for you sometimes, but you know that if he had to choose, he’d rather be out painting the town red than stay home and spend time with you.
He doesn’t want to be involved in your life.
You know how much interest you show in his personal and work life? If he’s not reciprocating the same energy, that’s a sign that he’s not planning to commit. That’s why he can’t be bothered to care about anything that doesn’t somehow involve him. That’s why he’s acting indifferent to your achievements and doesn’t really listen when you talk about yourself, family, career, or friends.
He still talks to other girls he has hooked up with.
I’m not talking about girls he used to date or had some kind of close relationship with. I mean girls that he only hooked up with a few times. The only reason he is still talking to them is that he wants to keep the door open for more sex, meaning he doesn’t consider what he has with you to be worth losing this temporary relationship over.
He says he’s not ready for commitment.
Take his word for it when he tells you he doesn’t want to commit. Don’t make the mistake of thinking if you stick around long enough and love him well enough, you can change his mind. Maybe he wants to remain a bachelor for life or he doesn’t want to commit to you in particular. Either way, accept it and move on to someone who can match your energy.