Will I Ever Find A Boyfriend? 9 Things Stopping You From Finding A Great Guy

If you want to find love but are having a bit of trouble, you might find yourself asking, “Will I ever find a boyfriend?” You might even wonder if something is wrong with you. Stop! Not having a boyfriend doesn’t automatically mean you’re not a catch. Sometimes you can be totally amazing and still not have a great love life because you’re making a few classic mistakes. The good news is these errors can be fixed! You have to start by recognizing them. Check out the nine things that could be stopping you from finding a great guy.

  1. Not dating Stating the obvious here, but if you want to find a great guy, you should really start dating. Though many of us would love for a dream partner to show up on our doorstep, the chances of that happening are seriously small. You might end up finding the love of your life through mutual friends, work, or even family friends. But you should still date. Even if you don’t find a great guy that way, you’ll learn about what you do and don’t like.
  2. Holding on to a past relationship Failing to let go of a past relationship will always stop you from moving on. In many cases, you won’t be able to see when a great guy or girl is standing in front of you because you’re blinded by your feelings for your ex. It’s important to take the necessary time to get over a relationship. But after a certain amount of time, you have to work on letting it go.
  3. Letting your fears control you There are several fears that can stop someone from forming a healthy relationship. Whether you’ve got a fear of intimacy, commitment, abandonment, certain social situations, or anything else, those fears can get in the way of your love life. If you do recognize any of these fears in yourself, don’t pretend they don’t exist. Address them and tackle them so you can get your life back.
  4. Writing people off at the drop of a hat It’s okay to have high standards. And it’s okay to know what you like. But if you write off the majority of people at the drop of a hat, it’s going to be a lot harder for you to find a great guy. If you know what you like, at least get to know someone before deciding whether they fit that standard or not. Give people a chance! You don’t have to stick with them if you decide they’re not for you, but in the beginning, allow yourself to explore new horizons.
  5. Ignoring your intuition Your gut feeling is your subconscious sending you signs. Often, your intuition can sense things that your conscious brain can’t. Those gut feelings can tell you when you’ve met someone special, so be sure to pay attention to them. You don’t always have to follow your gut, but you should at least hear those feelings out. Don’t ignore your intuition.
  6. Ignoring red flags Speaking of ignoring things, you should always notice and take red flags seriously. If you ignore red flags about a new guy, you’re likely to end up falling for him when he’s not good for you. You might find a boyfriend this way, but he won’t be a great one. And the more time you spend with guys who are ridden with red flags, the less time you’ll have to find someone who is actually good for you.
  7. Chasing people who don’t want to be in your life Similarly, the more effort you put into people who don’t want to be in your life, the less energy you’ll have for those who do. You should never have to chase or force anyone to be with you. Keeping up with those chases will often leave you tired and jaded, and no closer to finding true love.
  8. Repeating old relationship mistakes It’s okay if you screw up in your relationship from time to time. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. But if you don’t learn from your mistakes, then you’re doomed to repeat them. For example, if your obsession with your job drives away one partner, and you don’t learn anything from that experience, you’re more likely to repeat it the next time. That also means that you’re more likely to lose another partner in the same way.
  9. Not making love a priority Love should never be forced, but it does take work. It takes a lot of energy to maintain a relationship, and it takes even more to find one in the first place. So you have to make love one of your priorities. If it’s something you don’t put any effort into and don’t really care about, you probably won’t ever have a long-lasting partner.
Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including Hotsprings.co and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.