Back when I was an impressionable young woman, relationship advice flowed like wine from the mouths of pretty much everyone I met. Most of it was absolute crap, but one of the best pieces of advice that I got was from an aunt. Her pearls of wisdom? You shouldn’t be with someone you can’t fart in front of.
- I initially brushed it off. Who gives out relationship advice about farting? Out of all of the things that go on when two people are together, farting doesn’t seem like it’s a make or break thing, right? I put it to the deepest part of my mind and moved on with my day with no intention of thinking about it again.
- Then I got into a relationship. Not long after, I met someone and we started dating. One day, I randomly remembered that conversation with my aunt. It was largely because I realized that I didn’t want to fart in front of this guy. I spent plenty of time with him and thought that I was comfortable around him but I just couldn’t bring myself to pass wind in his presence.
- Suddenly, it all started to make sense. If I wanted to be with this person, why did I need to pretend to be someone that I wasn’t? On my own, I had no issue farting whenever I felt the need. I also ate ice cream straight out of the container and I had a pretty strong bond with my sweatpants. If things worked out and I was with this guy long-term, would I refrain from my ice cream and sweatpant dates? Hell no. If I didn’t plan to hide the fact that I did those things, why in the world would I try to hide the fact that I fart?
- What if he bolted? After thinking about it, I realized that my aunt’s advice was spot on, but I still worried that the new guy in my life wouldn’t feel the same. What if I put it all out there and he just couldn’t deal with it? What if he was just so disgusted he ran for the hills? I then transitioned my thinking into a more serious issue to compare. What if I were a single mother and didn’t tell him? If he bolted when he learned the news, would I get rid of my kid? Of course not. I’d say goodbye and good riddance. Basically, if he has a problem with me being human with normal behaviors, I need to find someone who likes all of me, sounds and smells included.
- I took the plunge. I decided to just go for it—it was now or never. And as it turns out, he took it in stride and it really wasn’t as big a deal as I even thought it would be. I felt that it actually made me feel more comfortable in the relationship since I truly didn’t have to hide anything or pretend to be something I’m not.
- Now I tell everyone I know. I really wish that more women felt this way. I can’t believe how often I hear women say, “My boyfriend just likes to pretend that I don’t do those things.” That’s dumb—tell your boyfriend to wake up and join the rest of us in the real world. All human beings participate in these behaviors. It’s physically impossible not to. And why does he expect you to hide your farts? Does he do the same?
- It’s about confidence. I see so many girls stoop to ridiculous levels to attract and keep a guy and it just seems like so much work. I can’t imagine waking up every day and putting on an act to be someone I’m not. I’d rather wake up in the morning, fart really loudly, and feel comfortable in my own life. Shouldn’t everybody want that? I want all women to have the confidence to be themselves and not change to appease another person.
- There’s that psychology component too. There are studies out there that say that couples who fart in front of one another have longer-lasting relationships. And psychologist Shannon Chavez even reports that those who do also tend to have more adventurous sex lives. That can’t be a bad thing.
- It all boils down to what you want. Do you want a relationship built on honesty and trust, or do you want one that’s superficial and unrealistic? I personally prefer the honesty and trust idea. Any opportunity to present myself exactly as I am in a relationship, romantic or not, is much more enjoyable than the opposite. I don’t need to take unreasonable measures to impress a guy because I’m great just the way I am. Thankfully, my guy sees that.