Woman Arrested For Drinking A Case Of Stella In Target Dressing Rooms Before Stealing $200 Worth Of Stuff

Woman Arrested For Drinking A Case Of Stella In Target Dressing Rooms Before Stealing $200 Worth Of Stuff Facebook/Lathrop Police Services

Target is a wonderful place. I could literally go there five times a week and never get bored. I hit up the Starbucks inside to get a venti iced red-eye with almond milk, then I cruise the aisles looking for stuff I definitely don’t need but will buy anyway because why not? However, I like to use Target for forces of good, a memo Elysia Johnson clearly missed when she was arrested for theft earlier this year.

Scroll down to read more about Johnson’s crime and the hilarious ending to this story.

  1. I guess she was drunk, in her defense. I’m smacking my teeth as I type that because I’m being facetious. The real scoop is that Johnson was visiting a Target in Lathrop, California and proceeded to fill her hand basket up with about $200 worth of stuff. One of the things in her cart was a six-pack of Stella Artois beer, which she drank in its entirety in the dressing room before walking out of the store with the rest of the stuff.
  2. Well, at least she tried. Target security was kinda, “WTF?” when they saw this drunk girl trying to hightail it out of the store with loads of stuff that wasn’t in bags or anything, so they stopped her and she was immediately arrested for theft. Womp womp.
  3. She was in the dressing room for over an hour. That seems like an inordinately long amount of time to try to pluck up the courage to steal a couple hundred bucks worth of stuff, but I guess she did have a six-pack worth of beer to down before then. Unfortunately, the beer not only gave her the courage to try to steal from Target but the stupidity to imagine she might actually get away with it.
  4. This wasn’t Johnson’s first rodeo. When she was booked into San Joaquin County Jail on suspicion of theft, authorities discovered that she also had three other warrants out for her arrest already, so looks like it was a bad day all around.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia
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